“Is that really how you see your brother?” He asks gently because he knows this is a bit of a sore subject for me. “Mads, come on, be fair here.”
I grumble under my breath. Why does no one else see him the way I do?
“Sometimes.” I say, reluctant to agree with him, even though I know he’s probably right.
“Mads. You know I love you to the moon and back, but I don’t think you’re being fair to Walker. It’s not his fault your parents were dicks about hockey. He was just a kid. You know that. Isn’t it time for him to stop paying the price for your parents’ mistakes.”
That ugly, angry piece of my heart screams at me. It doesn’t want to let go of my resentment and indignation. I know Kenji is right. Was it really ever Walker’s fault? Probably not. It’s easier because he’s alive and they’re not. And I know that’s not logicalor even fair to Walker, but it’s just so much easier to be furious at him. I can’t think about my parents right now, so mentally I put that emotional baggage back in the closet. I don’t have the bandwidth for it today. Dealing with my feelings about Walker is already a lot.
I’m a terrible sister.
Ace nudges my thigh with his head before licking my hand. He always seems to know when I’m feeling bad. I reach over and ruffle his soft, black fur, running my hand around the fur behind his ears. He loves that, lying his head on my lap. It pulls me away from
“I’m sorry Mads. I know that wasn’t what you wanted to hear.” Even when he’s telling me to fix my shit, he’s nice about it. That’s why I love him.
“No, don’t be. You’re right. This is on me to fix. It really has gone on too long.” I sigh. I really need to do some work on this because I do love my brother. So much. Feelings are just so damn complicated.
“Maybe just talk to him. I think his perspective might surprise you.”
“I’ll think about it.” I finally say as we go back to eating our food. We let it go for the rest of lunch. I don’t bring up his revelation about Liam, but I can’t stop thinking about what he said, and it’s making me rethink how I see not just Liam himself but his actions for the past few weeks.
Instead, we talk about Ace and how he’s acclimating to his new home. I fill him in on how Liam’s been taking him running every day, and how I’m finally learning how to be a better dog mom. How well behaved he’s been and how he’s setting in well.
“So, Ace was good call?” he asks, a knowing smile on his face.
“The best.” I grin right back at him.
Friday is my favorite workday because I get to teach the most amazing group of humans. The kids in the neighborhood after-school program at the community center come by for a class every Friday, and it’s the highlight of my week.
Ace came to class with me for the first time last week, and it was love at first sight. He has this gentle, loving way that makes my heart melt. He ambled through the classroom, getting a bit of love from every child. Waiting patiently for the children to reach out to him first was the perfect approach, because those kids loved it! Watching them all interact almost brought me to tears.
Today, after checking in with the children, he returned to lie down on the mat next to mine. Random giggles alerted me that something was going on, but I ignored it. I’ve worked with kids for a few years, so I don’t let a bit of laughter derail a class. When it not only doesn’t stop but gets louder, I decide to investigate. As I stand, I glance over at Ace. There he is, doing the downward dog pose, just like the rest of the class. We ended up taking what I like to call a “laugh break” until everyone could focus again. It took a few minutes, but it was worth it. A healthy laugh is just as good for your well-being as a yoga pose, maybe even better.
I always end our session with corpse pose and deep breathing. So when the giggles started during breathwork, I knew just where to look. There was Ace, belly up, sprawled out on his back with his tongue lolling out the side of his snout, doing his very best doggie corpse pose. I didn’t even attempt to regulate the hilarity at this point. Sometimes you’ve just got to let the giggles out.
Class ended, and I let each kid come up and pat his belly. Ace hammed it up by wiggling around, but it was obvious he lovedgetting the attention, as much as the kids loved giving it. God, I love my job.
With everyone so amped up by the laughter, when Ace started helping the kids put their mats up by dragging them across the floor with his teeth, they responded with shrieks of joy. Cheering him on to show their support, as if he were the winning contestant on Wheel of Fortune. I couldn’t stop laughing, especially with Ace looking so proud of himself.
I was so caught up in our giggle fest that it took me a while to notice Liam standing by the door. I smile and wave as herd my kids back out to the lobby. The volunteer staff from the community center are just as happy to take advantage of an hour-long break as I am to give it to them. Win, win for everyone.
Liam
Stepping into The Bending Willow feels wonderfully cool after the heat of the day. It’s quietly calm and smells of eucalyptus. Maddie has it decorated in the soothing greens and earthy browns of a forest. A local artist painted a beautiful mural of a weeping willow on the back wall. The lobby is full of strategically placed plants and artfully arranged flowers in black matte vases. The wooden counter and shelves are the perfect accent to the forest theme, while providing a space for the yoga equipment she has for sale.
Grabbing a handful of peanut M&M’s from the dish on the counter, I head toward her classroom. The sound of children’s laughter leads me to the door of her classroom. I check the time and see that she’s got fifteen more minutes of class left.
I take a peek inside. The sight that greets me has me grabbing my phone. Pictures are a must. I quietly let myself into the room, staying off to the side and out of the way. Ace is the center of attention, doing his own version of downward dog. Madison’s struggling to hold back her giggles until finally she lets herself go and laughter fills the room. Ace, done with his“pose” trots over to Maddie, giving her a short bark and licking her face. Of course, that spurs more hilarity. I just keep taking picture after picture, because this is fucking gold. I can’t wait to show her.
Practice was tough today. I take a seat on the floor when the burn in my quads gets to be too much. The second week is always harder than the first. Things are getting competitive, and that’s where you find out who’s all in and who isn’t. I’m sore all over and tired as hell, but that never matters when I’m near Maddie.
I love seeing her like this, unguarded and full of laughter. Those soft, mossy eyes sparkling with joy, drawing everyone into her orbit. Pink lips curving into a wide smile that urges everyone around her to respond with a smile of their own. Seeing her like this always makes my heart beat faster and my dick get hard. She’s so effortlessly sexy it takes my breath away, and I have to resist the urge to toss her over my shoulder and carry her upstairs. There’s nothing I want more than to show her how much I appreciate that sexiness. Slowly, with thorough attention to every one of those sweet curves. My dick throbs at the thought of taking her apart with every tool in my arsenal–lips, tongue, hands, teeth... Fuck, now I’m rock hard in a class full of children.
Nope. Not good. Down boy. Think of gross things. Walker’s feet. The locker room smell after practice. My workout gear when I forget it’s in my bag.
I take a minute to breathe and get myself under control. I almost miss Ace doing corpse pose, and it’s hilarious. What a derp! I zoom in and take a couple of shots of him, mouth open, tongue hanging out while lounging on his back. This will be perfect for Maddie’s social media, like that puppy yoga that’s a thing, but better. The kids are loving it. I don’t take too many pictures of the kids because I know a lot of parents don’t like that. She might not have permission to post some of thesepictures, but I bet she’ll love seeing how much fun these kids are having.
I’m a guy who loves kids. I’m the first one to toss a puck, or more than one, over the glass during warmups for all the kids watching. Adults are complicated and messy, but kids are easy. They don’t care who you are. Once they get comfortable with you, they keep it real. There’s nothing like it. It keeps us all humble and laughing.
