Which brings me back to how I feel about Liam. A while ago, I was lumping him into the same category as my brother, a big man-child. It was easier to keep my high school crush at arm’s length if I thought of them grouped together. Much easier than the possibility of rejection, or worse, derision.
The problem is that I see him differently now. Instead of Liam, my brother’s best friend, I’m seeing Liam, the man. They’re very different people, and I feel as if I’m just getting to know Liam the man. He’s this incredibly sweet guy who brings me coffee and helps me out with my dog. Everywhere I look, my man-child label is being destroyed, and in its place is this incredibly attractive guy who has been nothing but supportive and considerate. It’s a potent package and one I’m having a difficult time resisting, because I’m finding I like Liam, the man, quite a bit.
We’ve had entire conversations about being the team captain and how that relates to a book he’s reading about sports leadership. Not a discussion I ever thought I’d have with him,and I’m not sad about it. I had no idea until recently that he was a reader. Well, he listens to audiobooks, but to me, it’s the same thing. Having reading in common was a wonderful surprise.
I’ve never had this much fun with a guy that I’m also attracted to, and it’s giving me all sorts of new feelings that I don’t normally associate with Liam. I can feel that childhood crush blossoming into something else entirely. The way my body responds to just being near him is far too disconcerting. I want so much for him to kiss me, and yet I’m dreading it. What if it changes our whole dynamic? Since I have no idea what to say, I say nothing. I keep him in the friend zone because then I don’t have to make a decision.
It’s obvious he wants to make a move. I can feel it when we hug or when I catch him staring at me in a certain way. When I push him back into the friend zone, he’s still so sweet and polite. It’s the most amazing thing. It’s frustrating, but yet I still feel respected.
I have to pull myself out of my head because I reach the cafe and Kenji’s already there. It’s right near my studio, so it’s only a short walk. They source their food locally and have tons of healthy options, which I love supporting. Between my yoga journey and Kenji, I’ve learned so much about living healthy. Now it’s just second nature.
We’re early for the lunch crowd, so we get our pick of the outdoor tables since I’ve got Ace with me. The landscaping on their outdoor patio is absolutely gorgeous. A row of trees and bushes surrounds the whole patio, giving it a secluded, intimate feel. The half-barrels of wildflowers scattered around the tables are the perfect colorful accent. A wooden gazebo stands in the middle, like an oasis in the desert, which is where we’re headed. I’m thrilled we got here early enough to get a table there. The Denver sun can get pretty hot midday, especially in August, butif you get a seat in the shade, there’s usually a light breeze to cool you off.
Because he’s Kenji, and he’s unfailingly polite, he pulls out my chair for me before seating himself. Some guy is going to be so lucky with him.
“I love this place,” I sigh happily.
“Me too.” He says, leaning over to give Ace a nice, long head scratch. Ace, thrilled with the attention, is butting his head against Kenji’s hand. His antics make me smile.
“So, how’s everything in your world?” I ask.
We talk about his training and how his new Ju-Jitsu trainer has him doing different things to give him an advantage in his next fight. I keep the focus on him until the food gets here and we dig in. I don’t even have time to take more than a few bites before he’s grilling me.
“Okay, what’s up with you? What are you avoiding?” he asks, looking at me with suspicion.
“What?” I try to deflect.
“It’s me, so quit it and spill. It’s like you think I don’t know you.”
“Ugh fine.” I say because I really do need to talk to someone, and there’s no one better than Kenz.
“Liam. I still have that stupid crush on Liam and it’s getting worse.”
“When did you get a crush on Liam and why is it stupid?”
“Maybe since high school. I know I told you long ago, Kenz. Sheesh. It doesn’t matter though because he doesn’t see me that way.” I shrug,
Kenz almost spits out his food when he lets go with a huge laugh.
“Wow, thanks for laughing at my pain. Hurtful.” It’s not that funny, I think as I try to push away the stab of hurt feelings.He chews quickly and then grabs my hand with an affectionate squeeze.
“Maddie bear! That’s not what I meant, sweetie. I’m sorry.” He says with obvious regret. “It’s just that Liam’s been gone on you forever and I’m just now realizing you had no idea.”
“What?” That can’t be true, because I’m sure I would have noticed that.
“Mads. Come on. You really didn’t know? Everyone knows.” Clearly, I did not know.
“When you say everyone, who would that be, Kenz?”
“Well, Walker for sure. I mean he’s tried to get you two together?”
“That was for him. So, he could always have Liam and me around.”
Kenz laughs again. This time he doesn’t apologize.
“That’s not why.” He sounds way too sure of his information.
“Oh please. He just wants what’s easy for him.”
