“What are you doing back there? It’s locked up tight, trust me, I already tried nosing through it,” I admitted. It wasn’t like there was much to lose with him knowing.
“Unless the computer is locked to administrative access, anyone can access their account from any device plugged into the system,” he said, typing away and then clicking.
I blinked. “Why didn’t I know that?”
“I assume because you never needed that knowledge.”
“And you did?”
“No, but knowing things others don’t about how a place operates or little tricks is a good thing to have.”
“Good to know, I guess,” I said, my curiosity starting to win over my annoyance. “What are you doing?”
“If you’re interested, I want to read you some of my notes,” he said, glancing at the screen and cocking his head.
“Why?” I asked, not bothering to deny I was curious.
“Because I need you to understand what Arete has become in my mind...and how you were pivotal in shaping my opinion,” he began and then cleared his throat, his cheeks turning pink. “Also...I’ve never done this before.”
“Read your notes?”
“Yes.”
“Then...what about your reports? Do they not get read?”
“My reports are based on the notes that I write when I’m evaluating a business or organization. Up until now, I have never shared anything from my reports with another person.”
I didn’t need him to say outright that he was making a change for... Well, I suppose he was doing it for my sake. It still felt like I was being bought, but I couldn’t deny that I understood this was a big deal for him. It was probably a lot like looking at someone’s private journal.
“I don’t get to read it?” I asked wryly because I had to poke just a little.
He smirked. “No. There are some things even you shouldn’t read.”
“This is about the things you had to say about me when you first met me, isn’t it?” I asked, remembering how irritated and testy he’d been during the first couple of weeks.
“I am neither confirming nor denying that,” he said. “So...do you want to hear?”
“Sure,” I said, narrowing my eyes. “Don’t think that magically makes me forgive you for lying.”
“I think I might have a long time until I have your trust again,” he said, not sounding sorry, but not sounding upset either. It irritated me to realize I knew it wasn’t because he wasn’t bothered by my anger, he was. He was just Rowan, and he was ready to accept that I was angry, that I deserved to be, and that he would have to work and wait until that trust came back.
I hated that I knew him well enough to predict that.
“Here,” he said, clearing his throat. “Early on. ‘The babysitter they have assigned me, perhaps to keep me from hanging myself with my sheets, is proving to be a potential reason for me to form a noose out of my comforter. I cannot imagine what sort of process goes into first assessing one’s abilities and skills in being a Guide, or in the process of determining compatibility between guest and Guide. Still, so far, evidence points to a serious flaw in both systems.’ That was...the first week.”
I stared at him, “Is that seriously supposed to be helping me right now? Jesus, Rowan.”
He chuckled. “I figured it was important to lay a baseline for the attitude I had. If it makes you feel better, I frequently refer to Reggie as an incompetent airhead, and ineffectual leader, and someone who taught you how to be annoying, as he was clearly the master of being a pest.”
“Hey,” I said, glaring at him. “Jesus, what the fuck, Rowan? Reggie doesn’t deserve that.”
“I feel obligated to point out that you were ready to rip him apart earlier,” he said with a wink. “And you’re right, he didn’t deserve it. I was being overly critical because I was playing a role I was never meant for, and I begrudged it. I was unfairly taking it out on all of you.”
“Can we skip to the part where you’re not being a dick about me?”
“That comes a week later, actually. ‘My original assessment of Luka was, in fact, a bit hasty and perhaps needlessly harsh. His heart is in the right place, and while he still lacks the confidence necessary for the role of Guide, he isn’t without merit. Perhaps some might consider it a mark against him, but I truly believe his willingness to stand up for a guest, including against the guest he’s trying to help, is a strong, positive sign. Perhaps were we not stuck in the roles we are in, I might even consider him in a different light after he effectively told me off to my face.’”
My traitorous mouth actually wanted to curl into a smile at the reminder of that day. “You thought I was fuckable because I yelled at you?”
