My eyes look back towards Ellie’s. “Sure thing, little lady,” I say, before leaning forward with my hands on my knees and standing with ease. Ellie slips her small hand into mine before leading me away from the firepit and up towards the main house.
I look over my shoulder back towards Mabel who stood with her arms wrapped around her body. I watch my brother walk over to her and wrap his arm around her shoulder; I realise that this small innocent thing really means something to her, and I need the trust behind that.
I pull my eyeline back down to Ellie who has a huge smile across her face, even as she let out a yawn.
****
Standing uncomfortably inside the main house, in Mabel’sold bedroom of all places in the dark, I try my best to look around at the new décor that housed it.
The walls are now bright pink, whereas before they were white old oak coloured furniture replaced with a modern white feel.
Pictures of the wild west and horses aligned the room, whereas I remembered the walls covered in pictures of us and the gang; mainly pictures of me and her.
Ellie goes over to her small bookshelf that’s next to her bed and pulls one off the shelf, before making herself comfortable in her bed. I stand in the same position, unsure of what to do in this situation.
My eyes look from the floor back towards Ellie, who’s eyes are looking at me with wonder; her mama’s eyes.
She lifts the book out to me as I hold my breath and walk towards her, hands in my pocket, feeling unbelievably sheepish.
Leaning down next to her bedside onto my knees, I take the book from her hands and scan the cover.
Beauty and the beast.
Mabel’s favourite when we were kids.
I’ve not read this book since I’d read it to her when we were young; hell, before I left, I giftedher a special addition that took me forever to save up for.
I look up from the cover and then back up towards the little girl who was eagerly awaiting to hear the words of the story from me, like her mama had done all those years ago.
I open my mouth to say something, but automatically close it again, pulling my hand up towards my neck to lean onto it for some form of support from far too many memories smacking me straight in the face.
“This is my Mama’s favourite,” I hear, pulling my eyes up from the cover of the book and from the memories that was causing my throat to dry out like the desert.
“That so huh?” I ask back, trying hard not to let my emotions show from seeing the book again. Ellie only but nods to my question.
Holding the book in my hands, still running my thumbs along the binding, my leg shaking and my breathing becoming faster.
Fuck. Now is not the time for a panic attack.
As I try to steady my breathing without Ellie noticing, I turn the first page withshaky hands, trying to control my breathing.
“Mr Maverick, can I ask you a question?” Ellie says with her eyes open wide, leaning into her pillow, whilst pulling her cover under her arms.
“Sure thing, Sweetheart,” I reply, placing the book between my two hands to hold the page open.
“Do you have eyes for my Mama?” she asks so bluntly that I’m completely taken back by her question.
“I, uh... I,” I manage to fumble out; how in the hell am I going to answer this?
My throat gets even dryer, and I start to cough, not knowing when it might stop. The wheeze coming from deep within, but I can’t stop it.
“Well, I think you do.” Ellie beams brightly at me. I knew if I’d a drink in my mouth, it could’ve been spat out at the question.
“I think my Mama has eyes for you.” Ellie finishes so casually.
I look back at the little girl who lay snug in her bed, the same one who asked me to read her a story, and I let myself relax at her sight.
She should have been my little girl.
