L
His cousin was silent for a long while after he finished reading. “Some fear or doubt reversed her intention.”
Darcy nodded. The question was, what had caused that fear or doubt? L admitted to an attraction that rivalled his own, but something changed her mind. He could not think of anything he had done to worry L, but perhaps he had simply been too hasty in asking her to meet.
“Reassure her that you won’t reject her on sight,” Fitzwilliam said, handing the page back. “Write again and encourage another meeting under more appropriate terms.”
Darcy shook his head and refolded the letter. “No. I will not make her uncomfortable by pursuing her. It would only pain her. She made it clear she does not want to meet, and it would be an insult to her to hound her with vain wishes.”
“But will you continue to write to her, in case she changes her mind?”
He shrugged. “I must at least acknowledge her last.” After that, he was unsure if writing was wise.
“You have every right to resent her, you know,” his cousin said, pouring himself a cup of cold coffee after all. “You wanted to meet honourably. She arranged a curious scheme instead, and then she abandoned you for no reason she will admit to. I say,burn the letter, wish her to the devil, and find a new lady. And then send L your wedding notice after you find a new love.”
His cousin was trying to rally him. It was unlike him to be unkind. “No, I do not wish her ill for changing her mind.”
“Your temper surprises me,” Fitzwilliam said. “You would not be harsh to her, but I would have expected at least some bitterness of spirit.”
“I am trying to be more gentlemanly, more patient with others,” he said.
“And you liked L a great deal, I suppose?”
Darcy nodded. Perhaps bitterness would come later, but he was more disappointed than angry. He hoped he would not be unkind toward L in his own heart. He was capable of the inward reflection necessary to comprehend Elizabeth’s criticism of how gentlemanly he truly was, and then wish to improve himself. A few months ago, he would have been ruled by a resentful temper.
But now he only wished L to be happy.
“Clara was pleased to have met you yesterday,” his cousin said, likely to change the subject. “I must have talked about you too much. I hope she was not disappointed in you, even though you did talk to her about horses.”
Darcy gave his cousin a pointed look. “‘Clara’, is it?”
Fitzwilliam blushed, and Darcy grinned for the first time since yesterday. It was rare he could embarrass his cousin, and after what happened at The Green Park, Darcy was going to enjoy this small moment of cheerfulness.
“Yes, Mrs Sullivan, I mean. She is rather affable for the fashionable world, but your taciturn self is drawn to sociable people.”
Fitzwilliam had not said where he met her, and Darcy wondered if it was through the subscription business. He was always making new friends, though, and he kept most of them.“Was Mrs Sullivan one of the dozens of ladies you wrote to through the matchmaking office?”
“Hmm, yes. Hard to keep track of them all, but easier now that I have faces to go along with all the names. I am an earl’s son, you know. Highly desirable.”
Darcy nodded disbelievingly. If Fitzwilliam had met other ladies, he only introduced him to the widowed Mrs Sullivan. He wondered if Fitzwilliam would get attached. Clara Sullivan was not the sort of woman his cousin typically admired. She was older, rather plain, and although wealthy, she had no rank to boast of.
“Was Mrs Sullivan offended by Miss Bingley’s snub?” As soon as she heard Harley Street, Miss Bingley looked ready to decamp as fast as possible. Darcy hoped he would never have been that sort of person, but he could at least guarantee he would not be in the future.
“She is accustomed to it, I think. She has wealth and taste, but her father was a banker and her first husband had no rank either. Mrs Sullivan mentioned wanting to speak again to the sister of the woman you tried to keep from Bingley, Miss Elizabeth Bennet. You do not think she was feigning politeness with Mrs Sullivan?”
Darcy felt taken aback at the hint that Elizabeth could act that way. “Not at all.” It had been jarring to see the woman he admired in vain when he had been eager to meet the woman he expected to help him forget her. While he feared L would not show, he also spent that brief meeting in dread that L would appear while Elizabeth was present. His feelings for both women were too complicated for him to see them both at the same time. “She is not superior or false. She has a warm heart and excellent understanding. I think any woman should be proud to call Elizabeth Bennet her friend.”
After a pause his cousin added, “Rather pretty too.”
He remembered how she had looked at The Green Park. Her cheeks were pink, her eyes bright, and her hair falling out from under a bonnet that sat askew on her head. “Yes, possibly the handsomest woman I have ever known.”
Darcy was lost in the remembrance for a moment before he noticed Fitzwilliam’s emphatic look.
“Do not look at me like that. I have no hope in that quarter.”
“Friendly, pretty, lively…” Fitzwilliam counted on his fingers as he listed her qualities.
He had to end this now. “She is the reason I agreed to your matchmaking scheme. I have admired her since the autumn, but I wanted to forget her and your plan seemed at the least to be a pleasant distraction.”
