I tuck that piece of information away in the chamber in my mind labeled Natalie Bradshaw, the pocket where I put all the happy things that has been getting filled by Natalie as every day goes by. I keep them close so I can pluck them out at a later date and revisit them all over again.
“So what now?”
“Now I have a lot of mixed feelings. He told me yesterday he doesn’t resent her, that he understands where she was comingfrom and why she did what she did. He asked me to be mad at only him. He thought my mom remarried.”
“Oh. How come?”
“He didn't know Liz was his, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him.” I choke on my words.
“Oh, Holden.”
“I know. I know. He would be losing a kid all over again. A kid he never met. A kid he would never meet. And I don’t have it in me to tell him.”
“Is that what upset you on Friday?”
I nod. “He told me Friday she knew, and yesterday, he told me the rest. It was rough. I’m trying to keep an open mind, but?—”
“Do you need anything else?” The waitress interrupts us again, and Natalie pulls her hand away from mine as if it was a fire and she was afraid she would get burned.
“Can I get the check, please?”
“Oh, it’s taken care of,” she says, pointing at the swinging wooden doors in the back.
Natalie and I both look and find the chef smiling at us, walking our way.
“Natalie, good to see you here,” he says when he comes to our table, taking her hand and kissing the top of it.
“Hey, Cal. Thanks for breakfast. This is my, um, friend, Holden.”
Friend.
I should be happy with the label, but it tastes bitter on my tongue. “Nice to meet you. Thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”
He shakes my hand, lines crinkling the corner of his eyes as he smiles. “It was my pleasure. I hear you’re a regular here, and this one is one of my favorite people in the world.”
I can see it. She’s becoming one of my favorites too.
“Oh, stop it. You’re gonna make me blush.”
Ha, she’s already blushing. She couldn’t stop it even if she wanted to.
“It’s the truth. I hope to see you both back soon. How’s my Ellie girl treating you?”
“She’s the best. Truly. I’m so thankful to her.”
His eyes spark with love, pride, and happiness when he hears those words. I feel a tug at my heart at the sight—to love someone so much that just hearing a little about them makes them light up like a sky full of stars.
What I wouldn’t give to have a love like that.
Thirty-six years, and the closest I’ve come to knowing and feeling a love like that was my mother and my little sister. No one else. I crave that more than I like to admit.
Especially where a significant other comes into the mix.
I want connection; I want to touch softly and love loudly. I want to long for someone who gives me the same feeling he’s expressing with his eyes.
And somehow, I think I want it all with her. Or at least explore it. I’ve never felt the urge to pursue anyone like this before.
“It was nice meeting you, Holden. Thank you for your business, and come back soon.”
