Manny, Cara’s husband, and Gus are Allie’s little brothers, so of course she says, “Girl, he better hurry and put a ring on that finger.”
“I’m impatient. I might ask him.”
“Don’t!” we say in unison.
“Just be patient. It’ll come. You two went through a lot at the beginning, give it time,” I say and she nods. She had Gus to help her through one of the worst-case scenarios a school counselor could go through.
“Alright, Nat. Your turn.”
“I don’t have anything to share. My life is the same as it always is.”
“Mmm, what about that walking eye candy of a man who was there, like, two Sundays ago when I dropped off Vero?” Allie asks. I’ve been avoiding this. The truth is, I haven’t stopped thinking about him. Not necessarilyhimin general, but the way he looked so, so sad. He hasn't come back, and I didn’t even get his name.
Everyone's quiet. Everyone’s looking at me.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Mmm, handsome, slutty mustache, glasses, a tattoo peeking out from his shirt.” She springs to stand on her tiptoes and raises her hand. “Yay high?”
I shake my head. “Can’t recall.”
Of course, I can recall.
Yes, I noticed he was handsome, but it wasn’t his looks that’ve been haunting my dreams. It was how bleak his eyes looked, but how they lit up when he saw the sprinkles on the coffee. I definitely noticed how happy it made me to put that smile on his face. I haven’t felt that urge to help someone, to turn someone’s day around, other than my children’s, in years.
That has been haunting my sleep too.
“Oh shit. Nat has a secret boyfriend!” Roe shouts, and Livie bounces on her knees.
“I do not. He’s a customer who stayed til closing, and neither of us realized the time. I was spiraling because I forgot Father's Day, but yeah, that’s it.”
“Oooop! What was that?” Cara asks, sitting up straighter and opening her green eyes wide.
“What was what?”
“You’re hiding something about him,” she presses. I shake my head, grabbing dishes and taking them to the kitchen. By the time I return, they’re all silent, as if my leaving stopped time.
“What’s going on? Is this a glitch? Why are y’all not talking?” I ask.
“Because you have something you’re keeping from us, Natalie Alexandra, and we want to know what it is.”
“Not my middle name, Cara.”
“Then tell us. Pretty please. Please let me be excited about something other than being a human incubator. Are you dating? Are you fucking him between customers? What is happening?” she asks in rapid fire, as if I somehow speak at the speed of light.
Knowing they won’t drop it, I say, “I am not fucking him or anyone.” I pause for good measure. A bunch of nosy posies, that’s what they are. Like I would ever share my intimate details with anyone.
Even if I had any. Nobody has touched me after Nick, and it’s been almost four years. Nobody wants broken glass.
“I’m also not dating him.”
“Then who is he?” Roe asks. I swear, they think my life is a movie. But don’t they know by now that if it were, it would be a tragedy and not a romance?
Romance needs a happily ever after, and I didn’t even get ahappy for now. I spent all my days chasing the next best thing—a bigger store, another baby—instead of enjoying what I already had. And I was punished for it.
“What is this? A trial?” I deflect. This is not a therapy session; this is a book club, damn it.
“Yes!” they all shout.
