“It’s a matter of what she wants and whether I can make it happen for her. I have to see about the price too, because Vero’s therapy is already so expensive.”
“I’ll pay for it.”
“No,” I add. Roe is always trying to pay for things, and although I let her sometimes, I can’t with this.
“Remember the whole parents died and left me a shit ton of money so at least I wouldn’t be sadandbroke? Enroll her and add me as an approved adult or whatever it’s called. I’ll handle the rest,” Roe replies.
My mouth drops.
“Roe, I can’t let you do that,” I say, earning me a smile from all my friends.
“Let me be your sugar bestie, Nat.”
Nellie spits her drink, and Allie shakes her head.
“My what?”
“You know, like, instead of a sugar daddy. Can’t have that when the DDC exists.”
“Roe!” Cara shouts, her eyes wide as she looks at me. Ah, the DDC, Roe’s self-proclaimed club, so she says. The Dead Dad Club. She hates belonging to it, but according to her, if she doesn’t laugh, she’ll cry.
“Damn, my bad.” Roe shrugs. That girl has zero filter.
“It’s alright,” I say, very familiar with Roe and her dark sense of humor. I let my words hang, because I know she means well, but I’m not there yet. My dad is still alive, so I don’t belong to the club, but my girls unfortunately do, and I’m not ready to smile about it.
“Back to the problem at hand… I got her. I’m going to spoil the hell out of that kid and earn the favorite aunt status.”
“Just no tattoos,” I reply, wiping the tears dropping from my wide-open faucet eyes. Never in my life have I cried as much as I have now that I started therapy. It’s like all the tears I didn’t shed when I was terrified of living my life without Nick finally have permission to fall, and they haven’t stopped.
I look around and see unwavering compassion from all my friends. It tugs at my heart and makes me whisper a thank you into the air to whomever or whatever put them in our paths. They don’t pity me; they truly want to help.
I let out a breath and whisper, “Okay. I’ll call you tomorrow with more info.”
“Yassss! Okay, now that we got that out of the way, it’s time for hard truth time,” Livie whispers, her dark chocolate eyes glimmering with excitement.
We started this ‘game’ around a year ago, when we realized we were all holding back how we were truly feeling. Almost like truth or dare, but just truth. It can be happy or sad, but we have to share something we’re keeping. It’s been cathartic, andit has made us closer. Nellie came up with the idea. She does something similar with her students.
“I’m tired all the time, and I can’t wait for this baby to get out,” Cara says, and we all laugh.
All of us except Livie.
Livie flinches, and the others may not see it, but I do. She’s been trying to get pregnant for over a year with no luck. She catches my eyes and shakes her head gently, and that I understand too.Let’s not talk about it. I’m happy for her even if I’m sad for me. It’ll be okay. All thoughts that also went through my head when I was in the same position, wishing for a baby with every ounce of my soul.
A baby who took years to come after getting pregnant with Bella happened in the blink of an eye. Effortlessly pregnant before nineteen and then fighting tooth and nail for another one. And once that angel finally came, my world was flipped upside down.
Turned inside out.
Rocked completely.
I know it won’t ever be the same again, but I have to keep my hope alive, and so does she, because what are we without hope?
“Hang in there, babes. It’ll get better,” Allie replies. As the only two moms in the group, we know it might or it might not, but Cara doesn’t need reality right now.
“Nellie, your turn,” Cara adds, passing the spotlight to her little sister.
“Does it make me a bad girlfriend if I want Gus to propose? We’ve been together for four years now, and nothing. I know a paper will change nothing, but I want a wedding, damn it.”
“No, it doesn’t make you a bad girlfriend, and if I’m being honest, I tell him this every week, I swear,” Cara says.
