“Okay, guys. I’m gonna take a shower, and then we can figure out what we want to eat for a snack. I need you to sit down and be on your best behavior until I finish.”
“Okay, Momma. When can we go with Noodle and Yami? We want to play with them,” Kiaya asked with a hint of sadness in her tone. When we got up to the room, Lyric made it clearKeyami would be rooming with her and her daughter. I had no issues with the sleeping arrangements, but I figured the kids would be able to play together until then.
“We’ll all be together when your daddy gets back.”
“Aw man,” Kiaya griped, folding her little arms.
“I’m sorry, sweety. Maybe we can see if they can come to our room after I take a shower,” I reasoned. I wasn’t sure how Lyric would react, but I would at least try.
“Yay! Okay, Momma.”
I turned on the TV and set up their iPads to keep them occupied. Keyaire and Kiaya were well behaved for the most part, but they were still four years old, so they grew impatient at times. I decided to make my shower quick since I took one before we got to the airport. The bathroom was beautiful as well, and I appreciated the fact that Keynauri made sure we were in a nice place.
Thoughts of him flooded my mind, leaving me conflicted. My feelings were all over the place, and I wasn’t sure how to handle them. On one hand, I couldn’t deny the happiness my babies were experiencing by having him around, but at the same time, his presence dredged up many memories I believed were buried long ago.
It was such an odd experience to be so close to him in proximity but still be miles apart emotionally. Those unresolved wounds had resurfaced, and I could no longer deny the pain I felt. My tears mixed with the downpour of the shower as I released some of the emotions I held bottled up inside of me. My momma called what Keynauri and I had puppy love, but it was much deeper.
Keynauri was my safety net, my best friend, and my first love. If it hadn’t been for him, I didn’t know how I would have gotten through most of middle school and high school. He was like my own personal therapist and bodyguard. The day he got lockedup was the day my whole world crumbled at my feet. There were days when the pain in my heart was so profound that I would curl up into a ball and sob until I passed out.
When I found out about the twins, it became even worse. On top of being heartbroken, I had to put on my big girl panties in order to prepare to become a mother. I still didn’t know how I managed to pull myself together during those dark moments in my life.
I stayed in the shower a few extra minutes and released all my tears. The twins picked up on my emotions, and I didn’t want to take the chance of them asking a bunch of questions I couldn’t answer.
“We’re so proud of you, Keyz. I know you’ve been through a lot of tough shit in life, but this is your testimony. The brand deals are pouring in, you have three songs on the Billboard 100’s chart, and your single ‘Stay Down’ has already gone platinum. You are nominated for Best Debut Album and Best New Artist for the Music City Awards. All of the hard work you’ve put in is paying off, and this is only the beginning. Everyone wants to talk to the Golden Boy who dug himself out of a dark situation and struck gold. They are even talking about doing a documentary of your life on Megaflix. This is a huge deal.
“You have won the hearts of millions because of your resilience and determination. Your fans love you, and they have sold out twenty of your twenty-five shows. They are sending emails daily, begging for more dates because they want to seeyou. This will be your first tour, and it has already surpassed ticket sales for some of the greatest artists out there. You are about to be a global sensation, Keyz. Life is already good, but this is only the tip of the iceberg. Here’s to Keyz. May the success you’re about to step into make up for every single moment you were robbed of in life. You deserve nothing but the best.” Keynauri’s manager gave his speech before raising his glass for a toast.
Everyone held their glasses in the air, except for me. As much as I tried to fake the funk, I couldn’t. Everyone went around the table wishing him great success and expressing how proud they were of him, while I sat there stewing in my feelings.
“Why are you so quiet?” Keynauri asked after we left dinner.
“No reason.”
I kept my head turned toward the window, gazing up at the billboards and traffic. There were still just as many people walking up and down the street at night as if it were in the morning.
“You know I still know you like the back of my hand.”
I scoffed, rolling my eyes at his comment. I was biting my tongue so hard, and I couldn’t wait to get as far away from him as I could.
Once we made it to the hotel, I stepped out of the car and walked into the lobby. Logic, East, and Keynauri’s bodyguards were in a separate van, so I knew he had plenty of help.
My shoes were the first thing I removed when I stepped into the room. I left the door cracked open so he could bring the kids inside. Heading to my room, I began to peel off my clothes. My tear ducts were hurting from holding in my tears. I hadn’t planned to take a third shower, but I needed to let go of all the emotions holding me hostage.
The sound of the door shutting told me Keynauri had finally made it with the children. I planned to wipe them down, take offtheir shoes, and get them settled before I turned in for the night. Ten minutes later, I changed into a sports bra and biker shorts. I tossed my hair into a low ponytail before deciding to go check on my babies. I gripped my chest when I noticed the tall figure standing in my doorway.
“I only came in here to let you know the kids are in bed. I put Kiaya in the second bedroom and Keyaire on the pullout.”
I stood there frozen, trying my hardest to mask the emotions boiling inside of me.
“Okay.”
I turned my back to him, hoping he would take the hint and leave. Unfortunately, my plan failed, and he stepped deeper into my room. When he grabbed my arm, I almost punched him in the face.
“Tell me what the issue is. I thought we were making some progress, but it has become obvious you have some shit you need to get off your chest. I’m strong, so you don’t need to hold shit back from me. Say what’s on your mind. Don’t think I didn’t peep the way you acted at dinner. What beef do you have with me? Let me hear it.”
Without a second thought, I reared back and smacked him in the face. My shoulders shook as my chest heaved up and down. The tears I held inside made their appearance, and I stood there glaring at the man who shattered my heart and carelessly swept it under the rug.
“Do you feel better now?” His tone wasn’t sarcastic and neither was the expression on his face. He appeared to be genuine.
