Willow
It’s absolutely insane in here tonight. ‘The Life - CS Remix - Rüfüs Du Sol, CS’ plays as I lean over the balcony railings, watch everyone dancing and enjoying their night.
The club is more packed than I think I’ve ever seen it before and despite it being so busy, it feels so good to be back here, especially with my girls and for Alina’s birthday.
It feels healing in a way, but I also feel incredibly guilty that Ella is still missing. We are all carrying on with life while we have no idea what’s happening to her. I know that we can’t do anything until we know exactly where she is, but it still eats away at not just me, but Alina, Mia and Gigi too.
“Hey what’s wrong?” Alina asks when she catches me starting to get lost in my head.
“Just thinking about Ella.” I tell her with a sad smile.
“I know girl. It feels weird being here without her and not knowing what’s going on, but at the same time, we all need this. I don’t know if that makes me sound like a bitch.”
“It doesn’t.” Gigi joins in.
“She would want us to enjoy tonight. She would want us to find joy when we can.” Mia adds to the conversation.
They are all right. She would want us to have tonight to let go of everything that happened to us, to just finally have one night of pure fun. It doesn’t make us bad friends I try to convince myself just as a barman comes up to the balcony with a tray of shots.
“Boss says you look glum.” He says and I turn around to where I know Dragna is watching me on the camera feed from his office. I lift a shot and raise it in the air at the camera before spinning back round as the other girls lift theirs and we raise them together, the glasses all clinking.
“To Ella.” I say.
“To getting through tough shit.” Alina hollers.
“To finding happiness in the chaos.” Mia cheers.
“To tonight, and finally letting our hair down.” Gigi shouts and all of us whoop and giggle as we toss back the shots.
———————————————————
“Having a good night?” Dragna’s voice is low and guttural in my ear.
The music is blasting from every inch of the club, every person in the place is dancing. The girls are having fun with the guys, except Lev and Alina who are nowhere to be found after an explosive argument they had, but as long as neither of them kill each other, it’s a win.
“Why? Are you here to ruin it by breaking another phone or acting like a jackass?” I tease and he chuckles as his hands slide down the front of my dress.
‘All That Matters - Kölsch, Troels Abrahamsen’ fills the air and I can’t help but close my eyes and lean back into the man I love as I let the lyrics, the beat and him wash over me like a wave.
This is where everything started for us, and to have this night here tonight, knowing how far we have come, what we have gone through together, it fills my heart with so much happiness that I feel like it could physically pour out of my chest cavity. Maybe I’m a little drunk, but it’s the truth.
“I knew there and then that I loved you you know. He replies and it takes me by surprise. I turn around in his arms to look at him as he continues.
“How you spoke to me and didn’t cower away from me. I was already gone for you when you stepped into the car that night, but here on this balcony, when you handed my ass to me. Most people wouldn’t dare speak to me like that, but you did. I knew you were strong even then and I knew that there would never be anyone else who could make me feel how you made me feel, how you still make me feelmoya dusha.” He tells me as his hands glide to my hips.
“I love you more than I ever thought was possible.” I reply with a big grin on my face.
“But are you ever going to tell me whatmoya dushameans?” I give him a pointed look because he has still never shared that one with me and he kisses the top of my head before leaning down to whisper in my ear.
“It means ‘my soul’.” He kisses my temple.
“Because that’s exactly what you are.” Another kiss to my cheek.
“You are my heart, my love, my soul, my everything, and I knew it from the moment I first met you.” He says as he wipes away a tear that I didn’t even realise was running down my cheek before pressing his forehead to mine.
“You…” I say, not knowing what other words to speak to convey just how he makes me feel.
“Everything that has happened to me, all the hurt, all the pain, everything…”
