A harsh laugh broke from Josiah's lips. "Speak with Clara? Demand that she explain all to me?"
His friend's eyes rounded. "Why do you laugh? There is a perfectly good suggestion here for you and you mock it?"
Josiah quickly pulled the smile from his lips. "I do not mean to mock you, my friend. That is not my intention, truly. I am only saying that I do not think such a thing would be of any use to me. What good would it do?"
"It would give you an understanding as to why the lady you loved stepped away from you as she did. That might give your broken heart an opportunity to heal."
"Or I could continue on making my way through society and making certain that I am acquainted with as many young ladies as I can be, in the hope that one of them might steal my attention in the way Lady Clara once did," Josiah responded, dismissing the idea outright. "No, I do not have any intention of courtship or engagement but I can allow myself to enjoy good company and engage in a little light flirtation! That way, I will be able to set Clara out of my mind and my heart for good."
Lord Worthington clicked his tongue and shook his head. "I do not think that it will work, my friend. You need to know the reason for Lady Clara setting you aside as she did, else your heart will never heal fully, I am quite sure of it."
Josiah kept back his first, sharp response and did his best to consider what his friend was saying. The second time he had seen Lady Clara, he had noticed tears on her cheeks --- actual tears, hastily pressed away with a borrowed handkerchief. That had unsettled him more than he cared to admit. She had been the one to end things. Why, then, should she weep at the sight of him?
"You have gone very quiet, my friend."
Josiah glanced at his friend, then looked out of the carriage window. "Lady Clara and I have not yet spoken," he said, speaking quietly. "But we have taken notice of each other. When she saw me, she began to cry. I confess, I was a little confused by that reaction." He did not know why he was telling his friend this, given that he himself had decided to set it aside, but all the same, he had some comfort in speaking as he did. "She was the one who wrote that letter. Why, then, should she be so sorrowful over it?"
"A very good question indeed," Lord Worthington agreed, with a lift of his shoulders. "Perhaps that is something you ought to speak with her about."
Josiah snorted at this and shook his head. "No, I do not think so. That is a part of my past --- a part that I am doing my utmost to step away from. The last thing I need is to return to her again and let my heart begin to pull in that direction once more!"
"Then you are still drawn to her?" Lord Worthington asked, his voice quiet and making Josiah flush at the question both in his eyes and in his voice. "You think that if you draw near to her, you will once more find your heart yearning for her?"
Josiah hesitated, then shook his head. "I hope I would be a good deal stronger than that," he said, as the carriage came to a stop. "But there is always a danger of that, given that I was so very much in love."
Lord Worthington considered this for a few moments, then nodded slowly. "Yes, I can well understand that. Perhaps her tears were only because she now regrets what she did."
With a lurch, Josiah's heart tumbled over itself at Lord Worthington's words. He had not ever thought of that --- but what did it matter if she was regretful? It was not as if he had any intention of setting all that he had endured to one side and simply forgiving her for it all? No, what she had done by that letter was much too severe to be so blithely ignored.
"Are you going to come and join me in the park or not?" Lord Worthington opened the door of the carriage and Josiah looked out, seeing the vast swathes of gentlemen and ladies already filling the space. "If you wish, I can have the driver take the carriage around and you need not do anything but stay within it and hide yourself away."
Josiah rolled his eyes. "As if that would not draw the attention of the ton," he remarked, climbing out of the carriage after his friend. "Someone would see me, slumped inside and hiding away and would, no doubt, speak of it to others and within a few hours, there would be a rumor going around about me and my reasons for doing such a thing."
Lord Worthington chuckled and then slapped Josiah on the back, making him jerk forward. "Then it is all the more reason to put a smile on your face, speak well to all of those who are present and in doing so, make certain that there is nothing negative said of you."
A thought stopped him. He caught Lord Worthington's arm. "My friend, please promise me that you will not speak to anyone about what I have shared with you."
"Of course not." Lord Worthington's expression instantly changed from laughter to seriousness. "You know me better than that, I hope? I would never reveal something so private, especially when I see now my own selfishness."
Josiah frowned. "Selfishness?"
"I have been pushing you to tell me all that has been on your mind, eager to know the reason for your upset and quietness but perhaps I should not have done. Mayhap I should have waited for you to speak as you wished instead of being so demanding."
"I think I am grateful that you chose to be so," Josiah admitted, a little embarrassed. "I have not shared my upset with anyone as yet and now, I think, the burden has lessened a little."
"Then I am glad I pushed you to speak," Lord Worthington grinned, his easy nature returning in a moment. "But come now, let us continue on our way. There will be many young ladies eager to speak with you and soon, I am sure, you will have forgotten all about Lady Clara."
I must hope so,Josiah thought to himself, his stomach twisting gently as he followed after Lord Worthington.For I should very much like my heart to forget her entirely and just as quickly as possible.
"Cousin! Good afternoon!"
Josiah turned, then let a smile brush across his expression. "Prentis. How very good to see you." He shook his cousin's hand. "Is your mother present with you?"
Lord Prentis shook his head. "No, she remained at home with Isobella, for she is to be married very soon and there are a good many details that need to be arranged. They will come to London soon but, in the meantime, I am here to chaperone Deborah." He winced. "My mother has also reminded me that I am to find my own match also. So I do have that duty also."
Josiah chuckled at the rueful look on his cousin's face. "I do not think that finding a suitable young lady to marry is as dreadful as you make out!"
Lord Prentis laughed and shrugged. "I suppose that is true. But I have been very much enjoying my bachelorhood and am loath to give it up." He looked at Josiah, his smile settling. "And you? Are you to make a match this Season?"
