Before he could answer, Josiah's attention was caught by a young lady. A young lady who glanced at him but then turned her face away. His stomach lurched, his heart beginning to tear as he forced his attention away from Lady Clara. "It is the duty of every gentleman to find a suitable match, is it not?" he said, his voice a little louder than before, seeing Lady Clara's eyes flicking to his for only a moment. Perhaps it was harsh of him to speak so, perhaps he was being cruel in his determination to have her hear him but, as the pain of what her letter had done surfaced once more, Josiah could not help himself. Raising his chin a little, he forced a smile he did not feel as he spoke in that same, loud voice. "It is my duty to make an excellent match this Season and I have every intention of doing so."
4
She should not have been eavesdropping. She should have walked away, should have taken Alice's arm and strode on through the park but instead, she had lingered. Her face burned hot, hearing Lord Rutland declare that he was to find an excellent match for himself whilst, inwardly, her heart went cold. Cold with regret, with sorrow and with the realization that the love she still held for him would never be returned.
"Clara?" Alice smiled up at her but Clara could barely respond, her steps slow and sluggish. Her cousin slipped her arm through hers, concern now in her expression. "Are you quite all right?"
Clara tried to smile but she could not even look at her cousin. "It is the sun. It tires me."
Alice frowned. "But it is somewhat overcast this afternoon."
Clara said nothing, letting Alice lead her. What could she say? She had not told her cousin about Lord Rutland --- could not begin to explain the weight of a love she was forbidden to speak of. And beneath the sorrow, something restless: the thought she kept circling back to, the one that frightened heralmost as much as it tempted her. What if she simply told him the truth?
"You still have not told me what the trouble was that night of the ball," Alice continued, her brother walking behind them as their chaperone. "I know it was some days ago but ---"
"It was a foolishness, that is all," Clara interrupted, tears beginning to press into her eyes, forcing her to blink furiously to try and keep them at bay. "I thought I saw something upsetting but I realize now that it was nothing." That was not the truth, of course, and the way her cousin was looking at her told Clara that she was not entirely believed. Yes, she and Alice were cousins and she certainly enjoyed her company but they did not have that depth to their relationship as yet where Clara felt able to trust her with such a confidence. Relieved that she had been able to keep the wobble from her voice, she took in a deep breath and tried to keep her voice light. "Tell me, Alice, which gentlemen are you hoping to speak with this afternoon?"
Alice laughed and flushed at the very same time, making Clara's lips curve despite her lingering sorrow. Clearly, her cousin did have some gentlemen in mind and such a discussion might be a distraction from all that she felt for Lord Rutland.
"You will think it ridiculous but Lord Atherstone has been very attentive," she said, surprising Clara. "My brother says he is a little too flirtatious, however, so whilst I may be glad to speak with him, I have no intention of making it anything more than that."
Clara nodded slowly. "I think that wise. I do not know the gentleman well at all and yet from my one impression of him, I would say I agree with your brother. He was also very certain of himself which in itself is not a bad thing but it does mean that he has an arrogance which pervades his conversation."
"I would agree with that," Alice said, with a small smile. "He was at the soiree last evening and I found him very confident,as you have said. But there is also Lord Calder who is a very pleasant fellow and with whom I should like to speak. Oh, and Lord Headley. He is a Marquess, however, so a little higher in his standing than I!"
"But you are the daughter of an Earl so there is no great disparity," Clara said, confidently. "I must hope that I can meet all these gentlemen --- save for Lord Atherstone, that is!"
With a laugh, Alice patted Clara's hand as they made their way towards the great throng of people. Clara hoped they would not encounter Lord Atherstone --- and that Lord Rutland would be absent. She put a smile on her face, fixed it there and kept her chin high. If she was to see Lord Rutland again, then she wanted him to see her as a strong, confident young lady and not one who was to cry great shining tears simply when his gaze met hers. She drew a deep breath, set back her shoulders and pushed the nervousness down. It had been nearly a fortnight since the Season had begun and they had not yet exchanged a single word. Perhaps, today, she would be spared that agony again.
"Lord Headley, good afternoon. Might I introduce my cousin?"
Clara dropped into a curtsy as Alice introduced her to a tall, slim gentleman with broad shoulders and a kind smile. "How good to meet you, Lord Headley." She liked the way he responded so warmly, looking from Clara to Alice and back again.
"I am always delighted to be introduced to new acquaintances but in this case, all the more so since you are cousin to Lady Alice --- and she herself, so very considerate and generous. I am certain that you will have the very same goodness about your character as she, Lady Clara, since you are from the same family."
"How very kind of you to say," Clara answered, putting one hand to her heart as Lord Headley returned his gaze to Alice,who smiled back at him. "I hope you are enjoying the Season thus far?"
"I am indeed! The fashionable hour is always so very busy, however, I do confess to finding it a bit of a crush." Lord Headley winced as if those around him were pressing in against him. "I much prefer a quieter space, I will admit."
"Something I understand very well."
A voice from behind Clara made her turn, only for another gentleman to come to join them, reaching out to shake Lord Headley's hand.
"I prefer a ball or a soiree to this," the gentleman said, with a grimace. "I was far too busy encouraging Lord Rutland to come and join me here, only to realize that I do not much like it myself!"
"I would much prefer a soiree myself," Lord Headley said, before gesturing to Clara and then to Alice. "Might I make the introductions?"
Clara's breath swirled in her chest as Lord Headley began by introducing the Marquess of Worthington to them both. She waited for him to speak her name so she might drop into a curtsy and hide her expression from the gentleman. She did so quickly, wanting nothing more than to pull her gaze away from the man who was obviously well acquainted with Lord Rutland.
When Lord Headley said her name --- "Lady Clara Frankton" --- she saw it. A flicker of recognition in Lord Worthington's expression, a sharpening of attention that had not been present a moment before. His bow was perfectly correct but his eyes lingered on her face a beat too long, as though he were studying her, measuring something he had been told against what stood before him. Clara's pulse quickened. He knew. She was quite certain of it. Whatever Lord Rutland had shared with his closest friend, Lord Worthington was now looking at her with the knowledge of it.
Alice, beside her, drew a small breath. "He seems to know you," she murmured, so quietly only Clara could hear. "Or to knowofyou."
Clara said nothing, but her cousin's sharpness startled her. She had not credited Alice with such close observation and it unsettled her now, for if Alice could read Worthington's expression so easily, then perhaps Clara's own secrets were not as carefully guarded as she believed.
"Delighted to meet you both," Lord Worthington replied, having already bowed to each of them. His voice was pleasant enough but there was a new guardedness to it, a careful politeness that had not been present when he had first joined their company. "It is a very pleasant day here today, is it not?"
Clara nodded, not trusting her voice. Thankfully, Alice stepped in for her, beginning to chatter easily with both Lord Worthington and Lord Headley, leaving Clara to stand quietly. She could feel Lord Worthington's gaze returning to her at intervals, brief and assessing, and she did not know what to make of it. Did he think very poorly of her? No doubt he did, if Lord Rutland had spoken of the letter. He would see her as the woman who had broken his friend's heart and she could not blame him for that judgement, could not explain to him that she had been given no choice in the matter.
