Eventually, I stand, wiping myself off with my shirt. It’s soaked in her scent, her skin, and the evidence of what we just did.
I want to wear it.
“Phoenix…” Her eyes find mine, and suddenly we’re seventeen again. Just two terrified kids pretending we weren’t already everything to each other. “I… I don’t know how to do this with you.”
My hands come up to cradle her face, my thumbs skimming the edges of her cheekbones, knowing this is the most open her heart's been with me, and I won't mishandle it.
“You don’t have to know anything. We can figure it out as we go. But, baby, this ends with us together, like it was always meant to.” Her breath falters, and I press my forehead to hers. “I love you, and I’m not leaving. You know that.”
“I don’t even know what this is going to look like when I work it out in my head.”
“I do.”
“Phoenix—” She’s frustrated because she cracked the door open an inch, and I’m already forcing my entire body through it.
“It’s you and me. That’s it. It’s fucking, it’s fighting. It’s setting the whole world on fire if that’s what it takes to keep you beside me, because none of this means shit without you in it. We were never built to survive apart, pretty girl. In every version of us, in every life and every timeline, you always find me. And when you do, I sink my fucking teeth in and hold on like hell itself is tryingto tear you away from me, because we don’t move on, Shannen. We don’t let go.”
“Jesus,” she breathes out, but not in disbelief. She’s not mocking me. There’s no sarcasm in her voice. She’s just realizing how deep this runs through me. “You really believe this, don’t you?”
“I should’ve never let you go, not the first time or the second, and I won’t make that mistake again.” I press my lips to her forehead, hoping the words sink in.
“Maybe we can just start sl?—”
“Baby, no.” I shake my head gently. “You know me. We don’t need to do slow.”
“I need to familiarize myself with how I felt about you once. I need to know if my best friend is still in there.”
I don’t answer right away. I just look at her because my girl used to know every part of me, and the truth is, she still does.
“You already know the answer to that, and I know you feel him every time you look at me.”
“Maybe, but I need to see if I can let him back in fully.” I nod. Not because I like it, because I don’t. I fucking hate it. But I get it.
Swallowing down the urge to demand everything from her all at once, I ask, “How about we go on a date?”
She lifts an eyebrow, smirking. “I didn’t think stalkers dated.”
“Yeah, well… I’ve never been on a date in my life. So how about you be my first?”
Her smirk slips, but it’s replaced by something much softer. “What would we do?”
“Well, I’m not wining and dining you like some pretentious asshole.”
“You know most women enjoy all that wine-and-dine stuff, right?”
“You’re not most women, Shannen. You hate fancy restaurants because they charge triple what the food is worth, and you can’t stand small talk unless you’re getting paid to suffer it.”Her jaw falls open, just a little, and it’s still cute as hell how surprised she is that I’m still living in her head after all these years. “I’ll plan something real, something that matters, and we’ll do it tomorrow, yeah?”
“Fine, one date, but I’m not having sex with you.” She laughs, and fuck, I feel it right in the middle of my chest.
“I know, baby.”
I take a step back, staring at her the way a man stares at the woman who just gave him fuckingeverything.The world tilted on its axis, reality buckled, and the stars aligned—or whatever cosmic, predestined bullshit people like to pretend isn’t real until it grabs you by the throat and forces you to see heaven staring back at you from someone else’s eyes.
“You wanna see where I live?” Her eyes snap up to mine. “I mean, I know you know where, but maybe it’ll help if you see I’m not just holed up somewhere, trying to ruin your life.”
“Just my relationships.”
“Can you blame me?”
