Chapter Eight
Peyton
NO ONE’S TELLING mewhat’s going on at Carbon’s house.I can’t stop thinking about what was left on the porch.It’s a fact that some of the items no one would have access to with the exception of my late husband.They were private things we kept to ourselves and even though I’m close with my family, they didn’t have access to this stuff.So, I have no clue why the hell they would be at Carbon’s now.No, I didn’t love my husband at the end.I wasn’t sure he was cheating on me until the woman started sending me messages containing everything they were doing and pictures I had no business seeing.He was always too busy for the kids and me and made one excuse after another about why he couldn’t join family functions or even show up for the birthdays of his own children.Our son was heartbroken at his last birthday because all he wanted was to see his dad.A dad who didn’t show up or even have the decency to call and let me know he wouldn’t be home for Cedric’s birthday.
Part of me wonders if he had an entirely different life to the one I thought we were building together.One he truly wanted to be part of instead of pretending to play house with me.At the end, that’s all he was really doing.I honestly don’t know when we became more like roommates and less than the happily, in love, married couple I thought we were.I’ve wondered that since I got the knock on my door from the cops to let me know about the accident my late husband was involved in.I feel horrible for my thoughts, but there’s really nothing I can do about them now.It happens more often than I’d like and I don’t do anything to stop them from playing on my mind.
Thinking back to the items that were left on Carbon’s porch, I let my attention remain fixed on the knife that was left behind.It’s an old hunting knife that was passed down from one generation to the next in my husband’s family.When I was pregnant with Cedric, he would talk about passing it down to our son and all the hunting trips they would take together to bond or whatever.The same things his father did with him when he was growing up.To witness the excitement in his eyes as he talked and shared memories of that time in his life was something to see.His entire face would light up and he’d become completely animated while talking about the drives to the hunting cabins, time spent alone in the woods with his dad, and every single memory he was recounting while hovering over my stomach and talking to Cedric instead of me.
Now, those memories are tarnished as fear consumes me.If that knife is on my porch, I can only draw one conclusion from that—my husband isn’t dead and he’s coming for me.I have no clue why he’d be coming for me or what I’ve done to upset him to the point he’d fake his own death.Tears stream down my face as my breathing hitches and it feels like my heart is going to beat right out of my chest to land in a heap on the floor at my feet.My vision is becoming blurry from the tears I’m sobbing and the lack of oxygen my body is getting.A panic attack is grasping me fully and I don’t know how to pull myself out of this one.
“Breathe, Baby Girl.You’ve gotta breathe for me,” my dad’s voice breaks through the fog surrounding me and I try to look toward where the voice is coming from to no avail.“Come on, Peyton.Slow, deep breath in and hold.Now release it.”
My dad repeats the process until my breathing has returned somewhat normal and I can sort of see the room around me.Seth is standing in front of the window looking out over the yard and my dad is the only other person in the room with us.I keep my focus on my dad while I try to continue pulling myself from the dark haze consuming me with the thoughts of my husband being out there somewhere and now coming after me.
No one knows I’m here with the exception of my family.Matt didn’t want anyone besides the club and them to realize where the kids and I are staying for safety reasons after feeling like I was being watched and followed at work.Yeah, whoever is behind this, could have followed us, but I’m sure the guys from the club know how to spot anyone following them for any reason.My parents and sister wouldn’t tell anyone where I’m staying because they value the safety of my children and me too much.Barb and her husband have no clue where I’m staying either.All they know is that I feel as if I was being watched and Matt moved us for safety reasons.They don’t ask questions because my best friends would also never do anything to jeopardize our safety.
“Dad?”I finally manage to question, my voice a broken mess as I reach up to unsuccessfully wipe the tears from my face.“What are you doing here?”
“You think I’m not gonna be here with my Baby Girl when you’re going through something?Peyton, we’ll figure out who’s behind this and it will be taken care of one way or another.Matt’s on his way home but I told him I’d stay here until he rolled in,” my dad informs me as he gets up from crouching in front of me and sits on the couch.
My dad pulls me into his arms and I just cry against his chest like I did when I was a little girl and he was the only one who could heal my broken heart or any injury I got.He holds me close and talks gently as I keep playing one image of the items on the porch after another.Marie and the guys did their best to keep me from seeing what was there, but deep in my soul I know I had to look.I’m the only one who would’ve known about the items my husband had access to and that the knife was buried with him.I wasn’t about to pass it down to Cedric because his dad was supposed to take him hunting in order to pass it on to him just like his dad did with him.I don’t hunt and never will.Yeah, my dad could’ve taken him, but I didn’t feel right so the decision was made to bury it with the last of the men in his family.
“Sleep, Baby Girl.All of this crying isn’t good for the baby or you,” my dad tells me, his voice a soothing balm to my shattered soul.“I’ve got you and the kids are with Marie and Rooster.I’m not sure how long it will be before Matt gets back, but I’ll wake you up the second I know he’s here.”
With a slight nod of my head, I keep my eyes sealed shut and burrow deeper into my dad’s side.It’s not exactly comfortable, but I don’t want to go to Matt’s room on my own and sleep in his bed like I have been while he’s been gone.Part of me feels as if I’ll be tainting that space with the thoughts currently running through my mind.The couch is more than enough for me to sleep on.Especially with my dad here.Yes, I’m a daddy’s girl and he can always save me from whatever is going on in my world.Matt can too, but it’s different when it comes to your dad saving you when it’s needed the most.It doesn’t take long for the steady beat of his heart to lull me into a fitful sleep.
***
Walking out on theporch, I take in Marie and Seth looking down at a bunch of items scattered across the expanse leading to the front door of Matt’s house.It takes less than a second for them to notice me and start to usher me back in the house.I’m not having it.This is here because of me.A feeling deep in my gut says I’m right and no one will tell me any different.
“Go back inside, Peyton.This isn’t anything you need to see,” Marie says, her voice holding a hint of pleading as she wraps an arm around my shoulders and tries to turn me from the scene before us.
“No!”I yell, startling everyone including myself.“I need to see this.This is because of me and if I don’t look, part of me will feel as though I’m letting him win.”
“That’s not true, Peyton.Whoever this person is doesn’t deserve a second of your time.The kids need you and Carbon will lose his mind if he knows you looked at this shit,” Seth adds in, trying to move his body so I can’t see around him.
“Please.This is important to me,” I state as something catches my eye.“That’s impossible.”
“What’s impossible, Sweetheart?”Marie questions me as I maneuver myself away from her and closer to the one object that shouldn’t be on this porch for any reason.
“That knife.It can’t be here.It was buried with my late husband and there’s no way it’s a replica.I’ve seen that so many times over the years that I don’t need to look closer to know it’s the same knife my husband was given by his dad and planned on handing down to Cedric,” I inform Seth and Marie as I crouch down the best I can to get a closer look at the photos scattered all over with something resembling blood coating them.“No!”
The pictures I’m staring at are images we kept stored on a hard drive that was password protected and no one has access to.It’s locked in a safety deposit box at the bank and the only time we ever went to get it was when we had more pictures to add to it.These pictures are our memories and the things our children would have to look back on as they grew older.Images to cherish when we’re gone from their lives and they want to tell their own children and grandchildren stories of us.The reason we don’t keep it at home is because my husband is paranoid about certain things and a fire is one of them.He doesn’t care that all the files on the hard drive are backed-up to the cloud.To him, the only way to completely protect these images is to keep them locked up in the bank with other important items.
I ignore everything else as my eyes go from one picture to the next.Some of them are from when my husband and I were dating and young.We were happy and living our best life while going to college and spending every spare second together.Others are during my pregnancies with both kids.Then there are pictures of the kids after they were born.Every memory we created as we built our life.
