“No!”I scream as Marie and Seth finally pull me to my feet and drag me into the house as gently as they possibly can.“No!No!This can’t be happening!”
“Wake up, Tutor.You’re breakin’ my fuckin’ heart.Come on, Baby.Come back to me,” I hear Matt’s voice through the terror of my own screaming in the nightmare I’m living.“Peyton, I need you.The kids and I need you here with us.Don’t let this sick fuck win.I love you, Peyton.Come back to me.”
“Matt!”I scream, bolting up and being immediately hit with a wave of dizziness like I’ve never experienced before.
“I’m here, Peyton.You’re safe.Your dad is here with us and Seth is on the porch,” Matt says, wrapping his arms tighter around me and holding me against his solid chest to feel his steady breaths and listen to his heart beating a solid rhythm in my ear.It’s what I need to ground myself and pull out of the last dredges of the nightmare holding me hostage.
“You’re home.You really came for me,” I whisper, burying my face in his neck as I wrap my arms around him.
“I’m home, Peyton.Told you I wasn’t stayin’ there when the kids and you need me here.I gotta go have church, but your dad and Seth will stay here with you.Don’t leave the house and try to get some rest, Tutor.I love you,” he says, his voice low so only I can hear him.
“I love you, Matt,” I respond, not pulling out of his arms even though I know he needs to leave for the clubhouse for church.
“I’ve got a late dinner ready for ya, Baby Girl,” my dad says as I finally pull away from Matt and look toward my dad.
He’s standing at the end of the couch with a tray in his hands.The house smells amazing and I know he’s spent the day while I was sleeping making his soup.Something he’s only done for his girls.Whenever we were sick, got our hearts broken, or was just having a bad day, he’d make his soup and it would make everything better.No, I don’t believe it had healing powers or anything like that.It’s simply homemade chicken noodle soup my dad makes from scratch.He spends hours in the kitchen each time it’s made preparing everything himself and won’t ever let any of us help him.
“Hurry back, Matt,” I beg him as he stands from the couch and leans down to give me a kiss.
“I’ll be as quick as I can, Peyton.Marie is gonna keep the kids for now.You eat the soup your dad made and then get some rest.I won’t go anywhere but the clubhouse for church and then back here to you,” Matt promises me as he leans in and presses a kiss against my forehead.
“Okay,” I whisper to him, my voice breaking as I try to figure out what I’m supposed to do despite Matt just telling me.
I get lost in a haze when I have a panic attack.Thankfully they don’t happen very often because I’m useless afterwards.All I want to do is sleep and today that’s the last thing I’ll allow myself to do.If I sleep, I’ll have nightmares about what was found on the porch and the life I had in the last months of my marriage.There was definitely no love lost between the two of us.All of my grief comes from the fact that our children won’t have a father as they grow up.Yeah, they’ll have Matt and my dad in their lives, but that’s it.At least I think they’ll have Matt.I know I love him, but I also know the reputation of these men he’s surrounded by.They aren’t faithful and I can’t be with someone who cheats on me.I guess only time will tell what kind of man Matt truly is now that we aren’t in high school.
Chapter Nine
Carbon
WALKING INTO THE clubhouse, rage fills me.Not only did someone get onto the compound without anyone knowing, but they have my woman so fucking lost she has no clue what the hell is going on around her.It’s rare that I’ve seen Peyton like this.The only time is when she has a massive panic attack.I can’t even begin to imagine what she went through if the items that were left on our porch were things only her and her dead husband had access to.Things I know for a fact Peyton wouldn’t have gone to get.She hasn’t been leaving the compound for any reason and has been spending all of her time working and being with the kids.Seth and others have been on her at all times.If she had gone anywhere close to the house she lived in with her husband, they would’ve let me know.Peyton hasn’t been alone for any reason at any time because of her feeling as if she’s been watched and followed.
I don’t talk to anyone as I stalk through the common room and straight for our meeting room.The Prospect is already standing at the door and I know men have been arriving and waiting on the rest of us to show up.Handing over my weapon but keeping my phone on me in case something happens to Peyton, I make my way in the room and straight for my seat.Everyone’s eyes are on me as I look at Brick.My best friend knows me better than anyone else and understands how enraged I am right now.I’m sure the others surrounding me can guess, but it's only a guess and not the truth of what I’m feeling.
“Church in session,” Rooster calls out while slamming the gavel on the table in front of him and looking directly at me.“We all know what happened at Carbon’s house earlier.They made more than good time gettin’ back from the run they were on.How’s Peyton doin’?”
“She’s not good.I told her what had to be done and she has no clue what the fuck I said to her.Her dad’s with her right now, but I doubt she even realizes that.Her sister and mom are home waiting to be told they can come see her.I don’t think right now is the time for them to show up.Peyton wouldn’t realize they’re with her.That’s why I’ve chosen to leave the kids with Marie for now,” I answer, my voice barely above a whisper as the rage consumes me to the point I’m ready to lash the hell out and destroy everything in my path.
