I pinch the bridge of my nose because, honestly, I also don’t know what the hell is going on. “I appreciate that, Mandi. I really do. It’s…complicated.”
“Carlos said I shouldn’t give you any shit about it.”
I bark out a laugh. “Well, I guess there’s one good thing about you two dating.”
“Among other reasons,” she counters with a smirk.
Shaking my head, I turn toward the door. “Gross. I have to leave now.”
Her laughter follows me into the parking lot. I suck in a lungful of fresh air, steeling myself for what I’m about to do. An hour later, I pull to a stop next to the curb. Looking over at the house, I tap my thumb on the steering wheel. Years-long anger sizzles through my body.
This is for Seth. That’s who matters.
My exhale growls out of me before I open the door and step out. The air around me feels oppressive. Like even it knows what seeing the one woman I hate more than anyone in this world will do to my state of mind.
Pushing that aside, I make the short walk to the front door. My foot barely hits the front porch when the door opens, and Seth steps out with a nervous smile on his boyish face. At fourteen, he’s filled out quite a bit, and it makes me realize that it’s definitely been longer than I intended since I’ve seen him last.
“Seth, how are you, kid?” I pull him in for a quick hug, not wanting to prolong it, knowing how I felt about displays of affection when I was his age.
“I’m good. I’ve missed seeing you.” He glances behind him at the closed door.
I shove my hands into my pockets. “I’ve missed you, too. You have my number. Don’t be afraid to use it.”
He nods hesitantly and gives a small shrug. I know exactly what he’s trying to communicate with that, so I drop it.
“How’s school going?”
His smile grows. “I made the basketball team. I’m real good.” Clearing his throat, he swallows audibly. “You should come to a game. I play every Thursday at 6:30, and sometimes we have a tournament on Saturdays.”
“I would love that. Shoot me your schedule, and I’ll come to your next game.”
Seth bobs his head excitedly, but then the door behind him opens and causes him to startle. My smile falls when Christy sticks her head out.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” she spits out at me.
Seth’s cheeks pinken. In a hushed tone, even though I can hear every word, he says, “Mom, you don’t have to talk to Uncle Chris like that.”
She glares at him, then her eyes turn even icier when they shift back to me. “He’s not your fucking uncle, Seth. Tell him goodbye and get your ass back in the house.”
Seth cringes when the door slams. He turns to me, his expression apologetic, but I wave him off before he can say anything. “Don’t worry about it, kid.
Reaching into my jacket pocket, I try to keep my hand out of view of the window. The curtains are drawn, but I don’t trust Christy not to be watching us. Seth seems torecognize what I’m doing since we’ve been down this path before. I hold out my hand to shake his, and he grasps my hand, the envelope pressed between our palms.
“Take care of yourself, Seth. And don’t forget to send me your schedule. I really want to come see you.” There’s so much I want to say to him, so much that I wish he knew. Not just about who his mom really is, but about how much Tom cares about him. How much I care about him.
But I don’t.
I just leave the moment as it is, and hope that, one day, things will be different.
“Thanks, Uncle Chris. I’ll see you soon.”
I incline my chin and release his hand, taking a step back. But I don’t leave the porch until he slips the envelope in the pocket of his jeans and turns toward the front door. He glances back at me one last time before disappearing into the house.
The emotions clogging my throat take me by surprise as I make my way back to my car. I sniff through them as I pull away from the curb. There’s nothing I can do about Seth right now and, unfortunately, I have more pressing matters at hand.
When I make the turn into the garage, I don’t even remember the drive home. My mind wandered the entire way. But now I’m wondering if Lily’s home. Wondering what she’s doing. Or better yet, what she’s wearing.
The last few days have been oddly peaceful, considering what’s going on around us. Each night, one of us makes dinner or we order in. We talk about our days as we eat. Then we move into the living room and turn on a movie, or if there’s a game on, we’ll watch that while both of us work. Or I’ll work, and she’ll read.
