He watched her carefully, his lips pressed together in a thin line. “I could say that it is part of your punishment.”
“Isit part of my punishment?”
He shrugged his broad shoulders. “If you wish it to be.”
Amelia turned away from him, shaking out her skirts and frantically smoothing the creases. She could not possibly go change her dress before going down to see Letitia. The woman would notice and ask questions. Her absence had surely already raised questions.
And I don’t have the wretched guest list.
“I shall tell your grandmother that you’re going to think about the guest list,” she said. “That we kept changing the list, and that you’ll speak to her about it tomorrow.”
He scratched the back of his neck. “In truth, I’d forgotten about that list. I’d rather you didn’t change the subject.”
“Change the subject? From what?” Her head snapped up. “You may take as many mistresses as you like. You may have a handful of other families, one in each port if you like. You are a man and a duke. But I have seen firsthand what happens to women who let themselves fall. No matter how much they want it, no matter whether their hearts are engaged. Children never meet their fathers. Families slip into poverty, forgotten and unwanted, and considered shameful. Women who occasion disgust wherever they go, children considered abominations,bastards. No, I have seen this before. I’m familiar with the outcome. I… You… This cannot happen again. Itmustnot happen again, and it must stop here.”
He stared at her, his expression unreadable.
Was he angry? She didn’t think so, but he wasn’t arguing with her or begging her to kiss him again or to stay.
I am just a distraction,she thought, a lump forming in her throat.A plaything. I daresay he is bored.
“I don’t intend to release you early from our agreement, if that is what you are asking,” he drawled. His voice was cool and unconcerned, but a muscle ticked in his jaw.
Amelia patted her hair, relieved to discover that it had not come loose. A few tendrils had escaped, hanging around her neck, but she tucked them behind her ears and would try her best to tidythem up once she could find a mirror. There was probably one in here somewhere, but she did not intend to trundle around looking for it.
“I will repay my debt to you,” she said. “Through my labor. As a companion to Letitia, as we agreed. You cannot change the terms of our agreement now.”
“No, I suppose I cannot,” he murmured.
She turned to go, already thinking of what she would say to Letitia when she saw her. The key was to stay light and casual, not showing a hint of guilt.
“Not every man is like your father and brother, you know,” Stephen remarked, stopping her in her tracks.
Amelia gave him a tired smile. “And yet no man I know has proven to be otherwise,” she responded quietly.
He said nothing, and she finally slipped out of the room. He did not come after her.
CHAPTER 18
It was Letitia’s idea to take breakfast outside. At first, the idea shocked Amelia. After all, in her experience, ‘outside’ meant filthy, smoggy streets, with foul smells hanging in the air, mixed with the constant chatter and bustle of people and carts rolling by.
Their old house had a small garden at the back, all lovely and green, but the back door of their current house opened onto a filthy alleyway. They avoided using the back door whenever possible, because whenever they opened the door, the foul smells rushed into the house and took too long to dissipate.
Judging by the wide eyes of Marjory and Nancy, they had thought the same. It was easy, after all, to forget where they were.
At Letitia’s insistence, the footmen gathered up the breakfast dishes from the table and carried them outside. Several tables waited on the terrace, overlooking a smooth, pleasant green lawn, dotted with daisies and buttercups. Tablecloths white assnow covered the tables, and Amelia knew just how much work went on behind the scenes to keepthem white. The food was laid out, chairs pulled up, and the four of them sat.
Only four, because Stephen had not come down for breakfast.
His absence made Amelia uneasy.
Is he angry at me? Offended?
But then, if he was furious, perhaps he’d throw her and her sisters out of the house. They could get on with their lives.
Yes, certainly, it would be an adjustment. It was remarkably easy to get used to luxury. But they would manageit.
“Amelia? Did you hear what I said?”
