Right. It had been a while since he’d fed, and he’d gone through a lot in that time. I’d almost forgotten how good it felt, the renewed sense of bliss it sent through both of us. I was about to tell him to leave a little blood for me, starting to feel lightheaded, when he stopped. His lips softly kissed over my back as we slowly came down from that skin-tingling, body-clenching high. And when our bodies finally did go slack, we fell onto the couch together, with him still holding me from behind, desperately.
“Maybe,” I whispered through my still panting breaths, “we could take it slow now?” I offered.
But a whirlwind of emotions swirled to life in Myel again as he sighed heavily against my back.
“I can’t. I have to go.”
“Go? Where?”
“Safir needs spies. And I’m one of the better shifters for that assignment. I’m headed to the capital.”
The capital?
“There has to be others Safir can send. I need you here, with me.” It was selfish, but I didn’t want Myel sent away, straining our bond yet again.
Myel sighed, heavier. “Safir and I haven’t agreed on much lately, but on this, he’s not wrong. It’s night and I’m at home in the dark. If a dragon can get me close to the capital, I could make it into the palace with no one being the wiser. There are few with my ability to move and hide in shadows.”
Well fuck.
“Just return to me… soon, safe,” I whispered and grabbed one of his hands over my belly to hold and squeeze tightly in mine.
“I will,” he said, kissing my back again.
But… that hadn’t been all that had been bothering him. I still felt a heady dose of anger and resentment and uncertainty flowing through our bond. And I didn’t want him leaving on such a dangerous mission distracted by such strong emotions.
“I’m… sorry about Bayn,” I offered.
And yup… those same feelings flared.
This time he didn’t so much sigh, as huff out a long, hot breath. “Anotherman,” he hissed. “Rook was understandable, Vyns — I am sorry I blew up about him at the time —but I’ve accepted him now. Yet… it seems you’ve developed something with the dragon? And now, this titan wants to drag you to his marriage bed?”
I didn’t know if Bayn wanted todrag me to his marriage bedor just wanted the power that came from being king and general.
But yeah, Koar and I hadn’t really been a thing before Myel had been stolen away by Saldrea. I could see why he might seem upset about more men wanting to be with me.
But I’d come to accept that this was my life now, a growing harem of men supporting me. It felt… nice.
Until one of them got jealous…
Though oddly, I didn’t really feel much in the way of jealousy from Myel, more anger and frustration.
“You don’t really mind the men,” I whispered. “I feel what you do, remember? So, what’s really bothering you?”
Myel let out a long grunt. Even after that he didn’t speak. His emotions warred within him. He couldn’t speak his true fears, so I took a guess.
“You’re worried I won’t need you,” I said softly, gently. “You aren’t jealous of the men in my life, but worried they’ll edge you out of it? Am I right?”
“Yes,” he growled, the word torn out of him. Then, suddenly he exploded, ranting, the floodgates opened by that one word.
“You changed me, made me stronger, better, tougher, but somehow, I’m still the weakest of those around you. I’ll never be able to change the fact that I’m just a shifter. And you’ve got dragons and titans vying to be with you. I can’t compete with that!”
“You don’t need to compete—” I don’t think he heard my words as he rushed over me.
“With all these others to give you what you need, youdon’tneedme anymore. You won’t… want me… anymore.” He slowed down for that last bit, his true feelings finally coming out.
I stilled my own mounting frustration at having to go over this again, reminding myself Myel was dealing with thousands of years of indoctrination and societal oppression, telling him his kind were worthless.
This time I spoke over him as he tried to continue.
