With nothing but time on my hands, I alternated between checking on Sadie and surveying the street from my lounge room window.
People were still braving the outdoors despite the risks. Riding bikes, walking dogs. I watched the activity and waited for the symptoms to kick in, unsure if the fever or cough would get to me first.
Stress wound my body tight, clogging my mind with contradicting thoughts. Staying with Sadie. Saving myself and running to be with my family.
When her coughing started up again, I held my breath and faced her.
Her eyes were closed as she wracked with spasms, the sound tearing from her throat and fraying my nerves. It went on for too long, then she collapsed against the cushions and groaned, curling into a ball on her side.
I rubbed my forehead and sighed, losing a battle I’d had no chance of winning the second I stepped through my door. She needed me, and I couldn’t stay away from her, no matter what happened in the end. I went over to where she lay and sat on the edge of the couch, unsticking strands of hair from the sweat on her temple.
She stirred and opened her eyes, slow blinking a few times. “Am I dead yet?”
“Because you think I’m an angel?”
She exhaled with a burst of laughter and coughed again, drawing a wheezing breath. “Please don’t be funny,” she said.
“I have no control over it.” I took the facecloth off her forehead and pressed the back of my hand there, keeping my expressionneutral. The heat radiating from her could warm a small room. “I’ll be a minute,” I said, pushing off the couch.
I returned with a newly damp cloth, placing it over her brow. Sadie shivered and pulled the blanket higher. “You opened the windows. Aren’t you cold?”
“Not right now.” A sudden gust of wind blew into the room, ruffling my hair. “We need the air circulating.”
She nodded, her expression earnest. “How are you feeling?”
Mentally exhausted. Worried. Pissed off. Tired of the claustrophobic feeling from wearing my mask.
“Fine,” I said. “Not sick, if that’s what you mean.”
“Do you have cabin fever yet?”
I shook my head. “Still early days.”
She smothered a cough. “You could go outside if no one’s in the hallway. The rain’s finally stopped.”
I took her hand and turned it over, searching for blood and finding only clean skin. “You don’t need to manage me,” I said. “I’m where I want to be. If that changes, you’ll be the first to know.”
Sadie went quiet, her blue eyes glistening. She looked so fragile and lost, the sudden image of me calling the government hotline to have her body collected hit me, and a fist punched through my chest, squeezing my heart.
We were barely friends. We weren’t even that a week ago.
“It’ll be okay,” she said, her voice soft as she watched me. “Even if I don’t make it, Theo. You’ll be okay.”
“Don’t talk like that. I can’t take it.”
My throat ached. I swept my thumb over her hand and down to her index finger, tracing the shape of her short, round nail. Her body seemed so delicate next to mine, and I imagined the virus wreaking havoc, attacking her cells and weakening her immune system.
“You should go to your sister,” she said. “Your niece and dad. Sneak around the roadblocks.” Sadie paused to catch her breath, and the effort it took for her to drag in air killed me. “It might be your last chance to be with your family. I know you’re going to argue, but… go while you can.”
Her body tensed as another series of coughs erupted from her, and we both winced at the severity of the last one. I took my time repositioning the facecloth, then pulled my hand away.
I’d thought about leaving the city more times than I could count, but when she got sick, everything changed. “Did you miss the part where I said I don’t need a manager?”
“I’m not trying to tell you what to do.” She gave me a hint of a smile when I lifted my brows. “It’s just… Ihaveto stay here, even if I’m not infected. I’m waiting for Ava. There’s nothing keeping you here.”
Clearly, she didn’t feel the same way I did about our developing connection.
Back when my mum was diagnosed with cancer, the doctor had warned her Dad might up and leave because he couldn’t handle seeing her suffering. It hadn’t occurred to him to run then, and I wasn’t going anywhere now. “If you think I’m the type of man who’d take off when I’m needed,” I said, “you don’t know me at all.”
