Now. Now, I was done.
Bel stopped rubbing his chin and dropped his hand onto his lap. He blinked gradually and stared off into nothing, and finally muttered crossly, “I wonder what my father would say if he heard this conversation.”
My brows puckered in confusion, but I asked, “Your father’s still alive?”
“More than likely.” He shook his head, as if the action would clear his thoughts, and then turned back to look me in the eyes. He waved a hand in the air. “Ignore that. My apologies.”
Still confused, I nodded slowly. “All right.”
Bel’s striking eyes gradually moved up and down my tense frame as he cautiously asked, “I need to know if I understand you correctly. Are you saying you no longer wish to be with me?”
“Yes,” I answered instantly. My brows slammed together. “No.”
He blinked. “Would you like to try again?”
“Um…” I rubbed at my forehead. “I’m scared.”
“You’ve said that.”
“And you have nothing to say about me saying that?”
Bel shook his head. “There’s nothing I can say to that. I am everything you said. I am more powerful, shrewd, and alpha than you. That is not something I can stop. It is who I am.”
My lips thinned.
He rubbed at his chin again as he watched me. “But that’s not what you’re afraid of. You’re afraid I will wreck you, as you said.” It was his turn to prop his chin up on a fist, resting his left arm on the arm of his chair. The vampire was silent for at least two long-as-hell minutes. When he did eventually speak again, his tone was easygoing, done deliberating whatever he was thinking. “Gwen, I am not like the men you’ve dated before.”
I tossed my hands up into the air again, my voice turning shrill. “I know! I could handle them.”
His head shook gently. “That’s not what I mean when I say I’m not like them. While I may be hard to handle—sometimes even impossible to handle—I am anhonorableman.”
“So were they.” My brows scrunched, confused.
“Were they?” he asked quietly. Patiently.
I opened my mouth to speak toward their honor…but slowly shut it. Perhaps he had a point. None of the men I had ever dated—the poor dead bastards—had ever treated me with kindness. Not really. Especially toward the end of our relationship.
I mumbled, “Huh.”
He waited. Gentleness entered his gaze.
“Lord Pippin isn’t bad,” I felt the need to say.
Bel snorted. “The fucker abandoned you.”
“Ignoring that, of course,” I grumbled. I tipped my head to the side, eyeing his features. “How do you know what my relationships were like with the men I’ve dated, anyway?”
“It was in your file.”
“Not just their names?”
“No. Your father kept close tabs on you.”
I pulled my lips back in a sneer. “That’s a little creepy.”
He simply shrugged a shoulder. Still, he waited.
“Do you want me to walk away from this relationship?” I asked honestly, as I analyzed his posture. He sat relaxed now, completely at ease. “Half the time, I can’t tell with you.”
