“You wouldn’t have been able to think straight during the meeting without us having this discussion.” Ice blue eyes softened—to a little less frigid—and his voice quieted. “But we’ll get to why you were frightened in a moment. First, I wanted to discuss your whereabouts yesterday. We have a deal between us, and I’d like to know if you ignored it.”
“No, I didn’t ignore it.” I sighed and rubbed my forehead. I was so very tired. I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to work out the tangles while I eyed his bookcase—and the hidden compartment behind it. Finally, when he didn’t fill the silence with drivel, as I’d hoped he would, I looked back into his eyes. I dropped my hands onto my lap, and mumbled quietly, “I needed to get out of the stronghold for a little while. King Niallan used the same kill stroke on Ysander that I did with Adelie. It fucked with my head. I needed space.”
“That proud fool will do many things to get in your head. I’ve been trying to explain that to you. He’s been manipulating people much older than you are longer than you’ve been born. Like I said, don’t fall for his shit. Any of it.” Lord Belshazzar bent down and placed the empty glass on the floor, with extreme slowness, as if he were trying to calm himself. Then he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. Those eyes of his were stern and severe now. “So you left the stronghold? Without anyone knowing? Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?”
Guilt seeped into my expression. “Yes, I do. It wasn’t smart. I know.” I licked my lips and attempted to get comfortable on his couch, pulling my feet up under me and placing an elbow on the arm of the couch to prop my head up with a fist. “I took Phoenix with me, but it was still stupid. Especially since I don’t know yet who attacked us.” I cast a pointed glare in his direction. “If you would just tell me—”
“Don’t start that shit again,” he hissed, stopping my words. Bel tipped his head back and stared up at the ceiling. After a moment, still studying the cave’s black ceiling, he grumbled, “So where the fuck did you go?”
“Just down to the town. I stayed at the small inn they have there.” I cleared my throat and went for full transparency. “Phoenix stayed in the room with me, but he slept on a godawful wooden chair. If he actually spoke to me, I’m sure he would have cussed me out. It looked uncomfortable as hell.”
Bel snorted and dipped his head back down. His eyes trapped mine. It was the Overlord staring, not my lover. “Are you going to pull that stunt again, your majesty?”
“No. I know better. It was a mistake.”
A black brow lifted. “I don’t believe you, even if you believe that lie. Being a queen is not easy, which you have yet to learn. The next time you plan to sneak out, take me with you. I’ll leave you alone, allow you your alone time, but you’ll be safe with me nearby.”
I stared into his eyes. Quiet.
Then I nodded. “Thank you. I may take you up on that. I’m sure you’re right.”
“I am right. So use the resources you have. You’ll stay alive longer if you do.” His hard gaze raked over my features, and his eyes began to soften again. The Overlord was gone, and my lover was back. Ever so slowly, he shook his head, and stated quietly, “Speaking of safety, Gwen, you truly have nothing to fear from me. You should never feel fear like you did in the conference room. Not because of me.”
My lips thinned. “You are…”
I couldn’t even begin to explain him.
“I’m a lot to handle. I know. But I did warn you before we even began.” Bel leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands together. “Whatwas going through your head when you freaked out? I’ve never seen you like that before.”
“Um…” I turned my head to the side and stared at the bookshelf again, unable to meet his eyes. “I’d rather not say.”
“If I don’t know, I can’t help.”
I chuckled at his calm, rational behavior. “You really want to talk about it?”
“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t.” He tipped his head, bringing his forehead into my line of sight. “Look at me, Gwen. You are not a coward.”
I sighed. “Sometimes I am.”
Like earlier. I toyed with the chain of the necklace he had given me, the gem hidden under my shirt.
I did return my attention to him. “Better?”
His wide lips twitched. “Much.”
Still, I hesitated. “Do you promise if I talk about this that you won’t bring it into our work life? I mean, you already brought personal shit in, and I haven’t even been the queen for long. What I need to say…could affect things.”
His long black hair swayed as he nodded. “I shouldn’t have done that in there. I will do my best for it not to happen again.”
I rubbed my lips together, thinking.
I did need to talk to him. Better now than never.
“Fine. I’ll tell you.” I sat up straighter on the couch and didn’t flinch away from his eyes. I stared at him straight on. “Look, I’ve never really been with someone who is more dominant than I am. Lord Pippin came close, but I could still hold my own against him if I needed to. But you? You are so much more powerful and shrewd and alpha than me that it is frightening.”
Bel sat on his chair and ran his right hand over the growing stubble on his chin in aggravation—and what might have been worry—waiting for me to finish. He knew I wasn’t done yet by my quick breathing. I needed more air for this shit.
I swallowed hard on a dry throat. “If you wanted to, you could wreck me in every way possible. That scares me. And you’re right. You did warn me. I really might be too young for you.” I sucked in another lungful of oxygen, my heart hammering in my chest. I waved my hands in the air. “Hell, I may never be ready for someone like you. I have no clue.”
