‘Anna, stop.’ His mouth crimped into a straight line. ‘We’re not doing this.’
She flinched, surprised by the sudden bite of his words.
‘There’s no going back for us.’ Leo pulled back, rolled off the mattress and sat up with his back to her.
She had to force her hand not to reach out and touch his smooth back. Hurt wrapped around her like ivy choking a tree. She had to mould her face into a blank mask as she lay there and looked up at the ceiling, holding tightly onto her emotions.
‘Yeah, you’re probably right,’ she managed. ‘Just forced proximity playing tricks on us.’
‘Yeah,’ said Leo, not turning round. ‘Probably that.’
He stood up and leaned down to retrieve something from his overnight bag, the sunlight catching on the golden hairs of his muscular thighs. Maybe it was lust, not love. And maybe there’d be blue pigs flying over a rainbow during a blue moon.
‘I’m going for a swim,’ he announced. He grabbed a towel and his shoes and strode out of the room. As soon as he’d gone, Anna allowed her face to crumple. She didn’t give in to the tears that threatened, but instead berated herself for being such a fool. Of course Leo wasn’t interested in her anymore. There would be no second chance for her.
* * *
‘Morning,’ said Michaela, immediately pushing a pot of coffee towards her. ‘Did you sleep well?’
Her bright-eyed beam, full of enthusiasm and happiness, made Anna determined not to dwell on this morning. Michaela had been so looking forward to welcoming them to herchatathat Anna didn’t have the heart to spoil this weekend.
‘Not bad,’ she said. ‘These look nice.’ She nodded to the basket of pastries. Michaela, with her usual stylish attention to detail, had prettied up the breakfast table and it sported an embroidered tablecloth decorated with daisies, a bright blue pottery vase full of wild flowers, and a stylish glass jug with matching glasses. ‘Someone has been busy.’
‘Jan has been to the bakery in Pavlov. And I did some fussing.’ She smoothed her hand over the cloth. ‘This belonged to Jan’s grandmother. His mother passed it down to us.’ Michaela’s smile was full of fondness. ‘She has her own grandmother’s. I think it’s special when you can use things from the family, especially when they’re as beautiful as this. It’s too nice to live in a drawer and only be brought out for big occasions.’
‘It’s beautiful,’ said Anna, reaching out and touching the heavy linen, tracing one of the flowers, reflecting that it was a lovely sentiment. She had nothing of her mother’s or of either of her grandmothers’. Her aunt and uncle prized practicality over aesthetics or sentimentality. No family heirlooms. Tablecloths in their house had always been plastic-covered.
‘When you make things look beautiful, it makes a meal an occasion, a moment, don’t you think? And it shows people that you care.’ Michaela beamed at her. ‘We are so happy that you and Leo came here with us. I know we haven’t known you very long but I think it is already a good friendship.’ She stood up and moved around the table to give Anna a quick hug and as her feminine, floral-patterned dress wafted in the light breeze it triggered a memory.
A woman in a pretty dress, the hem lifting and dancing, leaning down in a garden, picking flowers. Her mother. She’d always worn dresses. And loved flowers. Other memories bloomed like watercolour splodges on paper. Long slender gladioli taken from the garden, bright sunshine-y daffodils and fragrant pink roses, the petals of which Anna had stroked and sniffed, because she could reach them from her mother’s lap. Pain whipped through her.
Her khaki cargo pants and black long-sleeved T-shirt felt heavy on her body and constricted her limbs. She looked down at the thick fabric and wished she’d brought something a little prettier to wear, especially after this morning. Her body felt so much easier and all of a sudden she longed for something light and loose.
‘I wish I’d bought a dress with me. I feel…’ She pulled a face, not wanting to put into words the lumpen, unfeminine way she felt.
‘I have one you can borrow. We’re about the same size, except you’re taller than me.’ Michaela jumped up and disappeared, then returned with a pretty, floral cotton dress with puffed sleeves and a shirred bodice. ‘Here, you can wear this.’
‘Thank you. It’s lovely.’ Anna could already imagine wearing it, the fabric flowing around her knees. ‘When we get back to Prague, could you recommend somewhere to get my hair cut and maybe come with me to translate? I’ve left it for so long, it needs … something.’
‘Makeover?’ said Michaela with a sudden gleam in her eye.
‘No, just …well, maybe it’s time for a change.’ Anna suddenly felt ridiculous. This wasn’t about proving anything to herself or Leo. She didn’t need his approval. His reference to ‘oval-shaped Anna’ had been sitting fermenting in her brain, like grain in a mash tun, for the last week. That was all it was.
‘Where’s Leo?’ asked Michaela. ‘Still in bed?’
‘No, he went for a swim.’ She pointed towards the water and sure enough there was Leo emerging from it, walking towards them in his black jersey boxers, sweeping his wet hair back. Something twisted low in her stomach at the sight of him.
‘Whoa!’ Michaela fanned herself. ‘He’s one fine man.’ She shot Anna a mischievous look. ‘That must be hard to resist.’
Anna’s skin heated with a rapid blush as she was reminded of the humiliation of his rejection.
‘It’s really not that difficult,’ she said, attempting to sound insouciant rather than bitter.
‘Morning,’ said Michaela. ‘How was the water?’
‘The water was great.’
He plonked a wet kiss on Michaela’s cheek.
