‘It was lovely to meet you,’ he paused, his eyes skimming over her face, ‘really lovely, Mina.’ He gave her another one of his brilliant lopsided smiles, his gaze dropping with sudden shyness to her lips before he asked with a quick frown, ‘Do you believe in serendipity?’
A couple of butterflies did a few star jumps in her stomach and something fizzed in her chest.
‘I’m not sure,’ she replied slowly, unable to tear her gaze away from his dancing blue eyes, that were now filled with mischief and challenge.
‘Me neither, but sometimes you just know.’ He leaned forward, his mouth inches from hers. ‘If I kiss you maybe…’ He lifted his shoulders in a shrug. She shrugged back, her heart skittering about in her chest. ‘A kiss goodbye.’
His lips grazed hers in a barely-there kiss that seemed to crackle with electricity. Startled, she glanced up to find his eyes were as wide as hers, as if askingdid that really happen?She gazed up at him, solemn-eyed, holding on to her breath and he frowned again as if puzzled. The train began to slow and his frown deepened as if he were trying to make up his mind. Then he leaned forward and slipped an arm around her waist, pulling her towards him. He paused again as if awaiting her permission. She rose on her toes to meet him as he lowered his mouth again. There was no time for a leisurely exploration – this was a once-in-a lifetime kiss that both embraced with enthusiasm. It was like stepping out into the sunshine, and warmth flooded every last bit of her, she never wanted it to stop.
Then Luke wrenched his mouth away. ‘I’ve got to go. Maybe we’ll meet again one day,’ and with that he rushed away down the carriage to the door while she pressed her fingers against her mouth, smiling as she gathered her belongings together.
Everything still felt discombobulated, as if her whole system was on final spin cycle, when she boarded the next, considerably busier train. The two guys opposite, who had initially perked up like a pair of meerkats when she sat down, probably now thought she was a bit weird. For some reason she couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss, and kept alternating between beaming dreamily to herself and frowning and screwing up her face in dismal self-analysis.
She didn’t really know what to think. Part of her was in the thank-goodness-she-was-never going-to-see-him-again camp because he was so scarily right-but-wrong for her, and there was another part that almost grieved because she would never see him again and he was so scarily right-but-wrong for her. A pertinent reminder of why she’d come on this trip. She yankedMoving Onwards and Upwardsout of her bag, opening it up and flattening it against her leg, glowering at the younger of the two men opposite, who craned his neck to read the title. Time to focus, and not think any more about serendipity and amazing kisses.
She forced herself to read the first page. It wasn’t really her sort of thing, but then her sort of thing – jumping in with both feet and not considering consequences – was what had got her to this point in her life, so maybe she ought to make it her sort of thing.
Where are you on your journey in life?
Waiting for a train
Chasing a rainbow
Lost in the forest
Halfway across the bridge
Stuck on the motorway
None of those things sounded the least bit appealing, in fact they all sounded depressing. Was she in one of these categories? With a sigh, she read on. Hannah disapproved of these self-help books on principle, she always said that they were written by masters of stating the bleeding obvious. Mina wondered for a minute if perhaps her sister had a point. But these books were written by experts, surely they knew what they were talking about? And shouldn’t you be open to other people’s perspectives on life?
She turned the page, forcing herself to focus. Apparently people who were ‘waiting for a train’ knew what they wanted to do, but were hampered by the belief that they just needed to wait for the right circumstances before they could achieve it. Well,thatwasn’t her. She believed you just got on and did things. If you waited for other people to make up their minds, sometimes, like with Derek and Miriam, you could wait forever.
‘Rainbow chasers’ also knew what they wanted, but were scuppered by their own lack of confidence. Again, not her. When she knew what she wanted, she went for it – although in hindsight that had been a big mistake with Simon. If she hadn’t jumped the gun and proposed that night, would things have turned out differently? Although, she couldn’t blame herself for his affair with Belinda.
With another sigh, which earned a further curious look from the guy opposite, she turned the page. According to the author, people ‘lost in the forest’ just didn’t believe that what they wanted was achievable, and therefore gave up on their goals. That sounded a bit wishy-washy, decided Mina. Definitely not her. While reading ‘halfway across the bridge’, the light bulb went on. People who were in the middle of the bridge weren’t sure whether to go forward or back; they didn’t know what theydidwant, but they did know what theydidn’twant. Now that, sadly, did sound like her. Not all the time, but definitely now. Well, at least she wasn’t alone.
With horrible awareness dawning, she reread the words. Itwasright. The events of the last few weeks had brought her to a crossroads, but none of the roads had helpful signposts on them. She had no idea what she wanted out of life. Her job, which she’d always thought was OK – admittedly she’d been frustrated by the restrictions, but she’d always enjoyed it – now, thanks to Ian in HR pointing it out, wasn’t what she wanted to do forever. It occurred to her, with rather depressing finality, that she wasn’t even sure if she wanted to do it for the rest of this month. Following on from that unwelcome realisation came the next bit of awareness sliding perfectly into place: she didn’t want to stay in Manchester forever.
Heedless of the other fascinated travellers, she let out a disgruntled huff. Darn it. If she were honest, she’d always known she wanted to live somewhere else, but this was the first time the thought had been brought out of hiding from its dusty shelf to be examined properly. Butwherewould she go? You needed a job, a place to live, reasons to move.
And then there was the thorny issue of relationships. She wasn’t built for solitude; she liked being with people and she certainly didn’t want to be single forever, but after Simon, her confidence had been severely dented. She’d always thought she was good partner material. Fun, good company, caring. But Simon had made it clear he thought her personality and disposition weren’t cut out for marriage at all, that being with her was wearing, irritating, and hard work – too much for a man to take on. His view had shocked and frightened her.
She swallowed, feeling uncharacteristically despondent. Her life was a bit of mess, really. At least, according to the book, she wasn’t alone. If she were in the halfway-across-the-bridge category, it meant there were other people out there like her. Thank goodness she wasn’t ‘stuck on the motorway’. That sounded hideous. Apparently that was when you knew what you wanted, but there were too many things getting in the way. That would have driven her mad. She’d rather be a bulldozer and go straight over the top of obstacles. No, she was definitely halfway over the bridge.
To the curious amusement of the man opposite she let out a quick self-deprecating, ‘Hnuh.’ Meeting Luke on the train summed it all up – the perfect example of being halfway across the bridge. Fun, sexy, and spontaneous as he was, he epitomised all the things she didn’t want in a man or a relationship. Ironic because he was so like her. They had so much in common. With awful irony, she realised that the type of guy that Luke was to her, was what she’d been to Simon.
‘Ist dieser Platz besetzt?’
Mina glanced up at the fair-haired, slim woman in jeans and a sunshine-yellow anorak who’d clearly just boarded the train at the last stop. The rapid German defeated her schoolgirl knowledge, but from the way the other woman gestured towards the empty seat beside her, it didn’t take a genius to work it out and she shook her head, giving the girl a welcoming smile. She couldn’t stand those people who looked daggers at you as if they thought no one should sit next to them. ‘All yours,’ she said, indicating the empty seat.
‘Great,’ said the young woman, who was probably about Mina’s age, flopping into the seat, immediately swapping to English in that easy way that so many Europeans did, and which always made Mina wish she’d tried a bit harder to learn a language at school. ‘I thought I was going to have to stand. The train from Geneva was full to bursting.’ She dug in her pocket and pulled out a packet of Jelly Beans. ‘Would you like one?’
‘I’d love one.’ Mina shoved the book back into her bag and turned to give the new arrival her full attention. ‘I haven’t had any for ages and now you’ve given me a complete craving.’
The woman laughed. ‘Me neither, I picked them up in the station shop.’
Over Jelly Beans, Mina bonded in the quick, easy way she frequently did with complete strangers. Hannah often complained she would talk to anyone, but Mina didn’t think there was anything wrong with that. As far as she was concerned, everyone was a potential friend, and where was the harm in that? And once again it paid off, as twenty-seven-year-old Uta was also travelling to Reckingen to stay at a local hotel. Apparently she was meeting up with a party of friends who’d all used to work together in a bank in Zurich.
