But she’d been short with Chay. She’d fallen asleep on Chay. She’d kissed the socks off Chay. He hadn’t run away. He kept asking her to do things with him, and her heart that had been sleeping so long, not really sure that it could love again, awoke.
It was beating steadily and making her feel emotions that she’d shut away. There was no denying it. She liked him.
Thinking about seeing him again in fourteen hours made her stomach feel like it had butterflies. Curling her legs underneath her, she reached for her phone. Looking through the recipes she’d saved, she wanted to make this dinner the best one. She wanted to impress him.
Wanted to show him all the best qualities she had. But she wasn’t a master chef—in fact, she barely got by. Also, what if he thought she could cook and expected her to keep cooking for him?
Ugh.
Laying her head on the back of the cushions, she realized that as much as she thought he liked her for her, it was hard to keep herself from trying to morph into someone she thought he’d fall for.Not healthy, Ava.
Forcing herself off the couch, she sat cross-legged in front of the fireplace. The last embers of the fire that she’d had going when Chay had been there were dying.
She put her hands on her knees and let herself fall into a meditative state. Took deep breaths and called out the things she loved about herself. Reminded herself that if Chay didn’t like those parts, then he wasn’t for her.
Were her feelings just a natural extension of her love for Gracie?
That would make things both complicated and easier. If it was an extension, then she could pull back. Stop letting Chay’s smile make her warm and gooey inside. But if it was natural…that was scarier. She had no idea how she was going to keep from falling in love with him. She knew better than anyone that love didn’t mean you got happily-ever-after.
At the same time, could she deny herself the chance to see what was blooming between her and Chay?
No. Of course she wasn’t going to deny it. She might not be a huge risk taker, but how often did love like this come along? Not that what she felt for him was love…but the potential was there.
Her back started to hurt from sitting for too long, so she trudged off to bed, no closer to an answer than she’d been before.
Chapter 10
Marg sent a text letting Ava know that she was cleared to start having unsupervised visitation with Chay and his family for Gracie.Sweet. This was going to work out, she felt it in her bones. Of course, she was going to have convince Chay that he wanted it as well.
Something she’d bring up when they were at his place. It wasn’t going to be easy for him to hear, but Chay had the bones of a man who craved family. Of course, that was her therapist training helping her to see that he needed it. But the woman who was starting to fall for him…well, Ava knew in a way she was pushing her own agenda. Trying to get herself to a place where…she could feel safe enough to start dreaming of a future again, where she wasn’t alone.
Her phone rang, and she glanced down, seeing it was her mom. Chay had been called in to work and pushed their date to just dinner.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Just checking in on you and baby Gracie. Also I could use your help with the charity event I’m planning,” Mom said.
Her schedule wasn’t too hectic for the next few weeks. Though she had been spending most of her free time with Chay. “I can probably come over on Thursday. Will that work? Have you started a Pinterest board?”
“Sent you a invite this morning. I want to make sure this one stands out. I’ve already got a few photos of the vibe I want to create.” Mom ran the Colton Foundation as a nonprofit, becauseshe always said wealth was vulgar. They held an annual spring event. She always ran the committee.
Her mom always delivered ideas, which took the events to the next level, which was probably why no one else volunteered when she asked if anyone else wanted to plan it. Her mom’s creativity came naturally to her. Ava struggled to see outside the box. She tended to be morethis is how it’s always been.
“So with Gracie…”
“Yes. Do you need me to come over and hold that little sweetie?”
“When we visit. I can’t leave her alone with anyone who’s not court approved because of the investigation,” Ava warned her mother, not wanting her to be offended that she couldn’t really babysit. Her mom was cool but sometimes mentioned that she hoped to be a grandmother someday. Which Ava always warned her would be down to Ryan.
Though she was starting to have think seriously about having a family of her own again.
“Makes sense,” Mom said. “It’s so sad what happened to the mother. Do they know any more about her?”
“I don’t really think so,” she said; her mom was so easily distracted, and maybe that was a good thing. She wasn’t sure she wanted to tell her mom she was pushing Chay toward adopting Gracie. Yet she needed another perspective.
“Um…I’ve been seeing a guy who shares DNA markers with Gracie. He’s not really ready to be a father, but he’s great with the baby and I think…” Trailing off so maybe Mom would pick up what she was putting down without making her say it. She’d always been bossy around people she cared about. It was her fatal flaw.
Her mom sighed heavily. “Honey, that’s a tough one. Not everyone wants to be a parent or is actually capable of doing it.I can tell from your tone that you want this guy to be Gracie’s adopted father, but that has to be his decision.”
