“So you’ve liked her for a while,” he says.
There’s no point in lying. “I’ve always liked her.”
His eyebrows rise. I don’t think he expected that.
“Anyway,” I continue, “I’ve offered her the role of Senior Veterinary Nurse. I thought she could start soon as it might make things easier for you both if you’re not seeing each other every day.”
“How very altruistic of you,” he says.
Anger flares inside me. “Fuck you,” I tell him before I think better of it. I put my hands on my hips. “You were hung up on your ex, and instead of coming straight out and telling Beth, you made her feel as if she wasn’t good enough. But it’s okay, you did her a favor, because you just sent her into the arms of a guy who does love her.”
He stares at me. “You love her?”
I glare back. “Yeah.”
He looks genuinely surprised again. “Have you told her that?”
I slide my hands back into my pockets. “I’ve told her I’minlove with her, not that I love her. I didn’t want to scare her off.”
I thought he might be angry at that, yell at me that I had no right to tell that to someone else’s girlfriend. But he doesn’t.
Instead, he says, “Right. Well, I wish you both the best of luck.” He doesn’t smile, though, and his eyes, while not exactly icy, are definitely a few degrees below body temperature.
“I need to ask what food you’re feeding Queenie,” I say flatly.
“Royal Canin.”
“Thanks.”
I hesitate, but he just looks back at his desk, so I turn and walk out, letting the door close behind me.
Chapter Fifteen
Beth
Abby insists on packing up a few groceries to tide me over, and then she takes me to the cottage that she and Noah had built about six months ago. It’s not far from the main house, but outside their walled garden, so the dogs can’t reach it, and it’s sheltered by a line of trees, so it has a bit of privacy. The sliding doors are accessed on the far side of the cottage, so facing away from the house, via a deck with an outside table and chairs.
It’s small, but it’s fully furnished, and it’s perfect for me. It looks out across the Pacific on one side and the paddocks on the other, with the Ark in the distance. Abby gives me the key and says that Noah won’t accept any rent, certainly until I’ve sorted out what I’m doing with the house I share with Jude, and that makes me cry again.
She gives me a hug. “You want some help picking up your stuff?”
I move back and wipe my eyes. “No, it’s okay. I don’t have much.”
“All right. There are bed linen and towels,” she says. “Just let me know if there’s anything I can do.”
“Thank you so much.”
“Oh you’re welcome. We all need an escape route at times.” She smiles. “I need to go and pick Ethan up from preschool. Are you going to be okay?”
“Oh yes, I’m just a bit emotional, but I’ll be fine.”
“You’ve got my number haven’t you? Just call if you need anything.” She waves goodbye and heads around the cottage, back to the house.
She’s given me teabags, a box of coffee pods for the machine, some milk, and a pack of biscuits. Somewhat numbly, I make myself a coffee, then take it out onto the deck, pull out one of the chairs, and sit heavily.I lean on the table and put my face in my hands, but the tears that are pricking my eyes refuse to come. I’m too exhausted to cry.
After a while, I lean back, sipping the coffee, and look out over the ocean. Gradually, my roiling emotions settle into a tired calmness. I’m incredibly lucky to have been offered this place. I know Abby understands. She was eight months pregnant when she started working as Noah’s housekeeper, and stuck in an abusive relationship with a man who gambled away all her savings. It makes my situation seem simple in comparison.
I’ve never realized before how important a commodity time is. But I need it now, more than anything. I have to pick up my bag from Kim, and tell her I won’t be staying there anymore. That’s not going to be a fun conversation, because she’ll blame herself for making me leave, and even though she’s partly right, I’ll need to somehow make her understand that I just need space.
