Hoping he’ll take his lunch back to the Forever Home office, I keep my gaze down. But only a few minutes later, he approaches my table.
“Can I sit here?” he asks.
I look up at him. Today he’s dressed all in black again—black jeans, black tee. It suits his dark hair, and he knows it. He’s slender and muscular, and he has a tattoo on his left upper arm, because his grandfather was Maori, and he carries that thread of his culture proudly. His dark hair is carefully styled to look as if he doesn’t have time to style it, even though it would have taken him a good fifteen minutes.
I was very lucky that he asked me out, as guys like him don’t usually glance my way. I’ve enjoyed being his partner, and having other women give me jealous looks. It’s not a good enough reason to stay in a relationship, but I’m tired, and he’s charming, and I know if I don’t leave, he’s going to talk me into moving back in with him.
As that thought enters my head, he lifts a hand to scratch his cheek, and the ring on his right hand glints in the sunlight. It’s like a signal, a sign. I’m not the love of his life, and he’s not mine, either.
“Sorry, I’m heading back to work,” I say, getting to my feet.
“No, you’re not.” He looks at my half-eaten sandwich. “Come on, you can spare me five minutes.”
I meet his gaze, conscious of the others in the garden, knowing they’ll spot any sign of friction between us.
“We need to talk,” he murmurs. “Sort things out.” His dark eyes are bewitching, beguiling.
I think of Archer, and the way he held me all night, and it gives me strength. “We will,” I say quietly. “But not yet.” And taking my sandwich and coffee, I walk back into the building.
The rest of the day passes peacefully enough. I don’t see Jude again. I don’t hear from Archer either, which doesn’t surprise me as I know he’s super-busy.
At the end of the day, I walk slowly back to Kim’s place, reluctant to go in. I need to find somewhere else to live, but I can’t seem to summon the energy to look. I’m so tired. I feel emotionally drained.
I know why. My relationship with Jude is an anchor attached to my ankle, and it’s metaphorically dragging me down into the murky depths. Before I do anything—before I look for another place, before I even think about Archer—I need to free myself. I have to summon the courage to talk to Jude and be strong in my convictions. Not let him talk me around with promises of things he’ll never deliver.
Tomorrow, I think. Tomorrow, I’ll text and ask to meet him after work, and I’ll tell him then that it’s over.
Having made that promise to myself, I have dinner with Kim and Simon, then, unable to bear the frosty atmosphere, I go to my room and watch TV for a while before falling into a sound sleep.
*
The next day, I wake feeling determined. I’m going to do this. Before I do anything else, I text Jude. I think about what to say first, then type it quickly and send it before I have a chance to doubt myself.
Morning, are you on days? Wondered if you’d be free to go for a walk after work today.
I get in the shower while I wait for him to reply. When I get out, as I dry myself, I read his message.Yeah I’m in. Lunch would be better for me.
I grit my teeth. I don’t want to have to go back to work after our talk. I reply,Can’t, sorry, busy day. 5pm by the gate?
He comes back,Can we make it 5.15?
Me:Fine
He doesn’t reply.
Irritated for no good reason, I get ready and head to the Ark.
About an hour in, I wonder whether his idea was the better one, as I’m finding it hard to concentrate with the thought of our upcoming talk. But I stick to my guns and do my best to throw myself into my work. Luckily, I have to help Stefan with a difficult operation on a Labrador’s hip, and I don’t get much time to dwell on my personal life.
Just before midday, Stefan finally finishes the operation, and we both clean up. He checks his watch and says, “Okay, I’ve got to head off. I’ve got a meeting.” He gives me a mischievous look. “If your ears are burning, it’s because you’re on the agenda.”
My eyebrows rise. “Me? Why?”
“I’m meeting Noah, Leon, and Archer to talk about staffing for PAWS. I understand he’s offered you a job.”
My mouth forms an O, and my face flushes. “Um… yes. I’m so sorry, I should have mentioned it. I know he’s worried about poaching the Ark’s staff.”
He looks surprised, then says, “Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel awkward. We’re hopeful that we can all continue to act as onebig family, maybe even with some of the staff moving between the two places to cover for one another.”
