On the surface of it, it all seems so simple. Jude doesn’t want a family, and I do. Our relationship was rocky even before he declared that, and now I know, I’m convinced there’s no point in us staying together. And I like Archer, a lot. I have more in common with him than with Jude. Archer is also warm, supportive, steady, and loyal, and it fills me with a glow to think that he’s liked me ever since we first met.
But he’s also Jude’s best friend. He might like me, but I don’t know if he wants to blow up his friendship for me. And even if he does, we have to think about the fact that we all work together. It’s going to be bad enough if Jude and I break up, but if I start seeing Archer, and Jude’s angry with both of us? It’ll make it unpleasant for everyone else, and Leon King will not be a happy bunny, because he’s the head of HR and he’s very against relationships when they cause hassle in the workplace.
My head hurts, my mouth tastes disgusting, and my stomach still feels uneasy, even though I threw up most of the contents of it. So I pocket my phone and walk barefoot through the house to the kitchen and living area.
Simon and Kim are both there, and they look up as I enter. Simon is five-eleven, and slim, with dark-blond hair and a kind but somewhat tired face. We’ve always gotten on well, and even though he and Kim have been through a difficult time, I like that he’s remained loyal to her, and done his best to support her.
The Lawson girls all look very similar—average height like our mum, but with our dad’s light-brown skin, dark-brown hair, and deep-brown eyes. Kim has a few more lines around the corners of her eyes, but looking at her sometimes feels like looking in a mirror.
Today, though, her hair is loose while mine is still in its bun, and she’s wearing shorts and a bright orange tee.
“Babe,” she says. “Come here.” She pulls me into her arms and gives me a big hug.
I return it with feeling, needing the comfort of my big sis. “Thank you so much for letting me stay,” I say as she pulls back.
She gives me an admonishing look. “Yeah, because I thought about saying no. Sweetie, you’re always welcome here, you know that.”
I give Simon a bashful look, and he winks at me and says, “How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay.”
“Toast?”
Even though I’d decided I wasn’t hungry, my stomach rumbles, so I nod. He takes a couple of slices out of the toaster and puts them on a plate as I sit on the other side of the breakfast bar. He’s already put butter, peanut butter, jam, and Marmite on the counter. I pull the butter toward me, layer it on thickly, and crunch into it.
“And coffee,” Kim says, giving me a steaming cup. I had a mouthful of the one Archer made me but I didn’t finish it, and I groan with pleasure as I sip the piping-hot drink.
“So…” She brings her own coffee around the counter, sits on the stool beside me, and turns to face me. “What’s going on?”
I suck a crumb off my bottom lip, then study the slice of toast sadly. “Jude and I broke up.” She doesn’t reply, and I look up to see the two of them exchanging glances. “What?”
She looks back at me and says softly, “It was over having children, wasn’t it?”
I don’t reply, and she bites her lip and looks back at her husband.
“It’s not your fault,” he tells her firmly.
My eyebrows rise. “What? Of course it’s not your fault. It’s nothing to do with you.”
Kim puts her cup on the counter. Then she covers her mouth with her hand and bursts into tears.
“Oh no…” I stand and put my arms around her, and she sobs into my T-shirt. While she cries, I look over her shoulder at Simon and mouth, “What’s going on?”
He rests against the counter, arms folded. He looks exhausted, physically and emotionally. “The fertility stuff is taking its toll, that’s all.”
That just makes Kim sob harder. Simon looks at her, and although he frowns, his expression is carefully blank. “I’m going to trim the hedge,” he says, and he leaves through the back door, closing it behind him.
Astonished that he’d just walk out when she’s crying so hard, I rub her back and tell her everything’s going to be okay, even though I’m not sure it is. Jude foresaw this. He told me Kim and Simon’s marriage was crumbling because getting pregnant was more important to her than his happiness, and it looks as if he was right.
And now she thinks she’s the reason why Jude and I have broken up. No doubt Simon and Jude’s heart-to-hearts have had something to do with that.
“Come on,” I tell her, getting up as her tears begin to slow, “let’s go into the living room and talk properly.”
I grab a roll of kitchen towel, and she tears off a sheet and blows her nose while I carry our cups into the living room. I put them on the coffee table, and we sit together on the sofa, turned a little toward each other.
She looks out the window, and I follow her gaze to see Simon at the far end of the garden with the trimmer, attacking the hedge with gusto. I look back at her, and see a kind of dull resignation on her face.
“No,” I say with alarm. “It’s not over. Don’t you even think that.”
