I was only speaking to them when I absolutely had to and I could feel them growing more and more agitated by the day. Leon and Theo were angry storms moving through the house. They watched me with the kids at times and then vanished in a cloud of angry swears. Theo tried to come into my room every night and I could hear him getting more and more desperate each night.
As awful as it was, I was glad they were suffering, too. It also fed the still sick part of me that wanted to matter to them.
It was obvious something had to give. I had too much to lose to give in first, though. I couldn’t be their naughty pet and the one who came crawling in our fight, too. I had to keep my power where I could.
It was Leon who snapped first. I came downstairs in my pink pajamas, in search of ice cream, hoping to make myself feel better. He was at the kitchen island, his head in his hands. When he saw me he growled and was on me in a blink. He gripped my head and dipped his mouth to mine. He kissed me hard and fast, not giving me a chance to reject him, and then he was gone, across the room, chest heaving.
“This ends now.” He stomped out of the kitchen and came back a few minutes later with Theo and Dominic. I was still standing there, doing my best to convince my body it wanted ice cream and not orgasms. He grabbed me and put me on the counter, his hands braced on either side of my hips. “What do you need to put this behind us?”
I almost laughed. They wanted me to tell them how to make me get over it. They didn’t get it. I shook my head and tried to get down but he wouldn’t budge.
“We’re doing this right now. Talk to us.” Leon slapped the counter hard. “You can’t shut us out forever.”
I crossed my arms and remained silent.
“Talk, goddammit!” Leon tugged at his hair and walked away from me. “This is bullshit, Sutton. We fucked up. Dominic fucked up but what you’re doing isn’t any better.”
I saw red and didn’t try to stop it from consuming me. I finally let out all the hurt and anger I’d been feeling.
“Dominic made another woman come in front of me! He screamed at me to sit down and you both made me watch it! You made me watch as he held her just like he held me. I’m giving y’all everything. I’m supposed to trust you completely and let you do whatever you want to me but I’m not sure any of youdeserve that trust. You’re players. You don’t want me. You want my virginity, if anything. But I don’t want my first time tainted by men who would touch another woman in front of me.
“I could’ve given my virginity away to jerks at any time in my life. I saved it for a reason and maybe I didn’t understand that reason before now but I want to give it to someone who respects me. You did that to that woman in front of me and then admonished me for trying to volunteer. You just want me to get over it, Dominic, but you haven’t apologized. You don’t think you did anything wrong. Giving into you now would just mean more of the same. How many times would I need to watch you touch other women? This time it was the cane. Next time, would you screw her?”
Dominic’s face was red as he stepped forward. He looked furious but when he spoke his voice was level.
“That’s a lot of judgement from a woman who knew nothing about this life until a few weeks ago.”
“You haven’t exactly proven me wrong, Dominic!” I slapped my hand over my mouth after screaming that last bit. I wouldn’t apologize, though. I crossed my arms and glared at him. “You still can’t say you’re sorry. You don’t think you did anything wrong, do you?”
He ground his teeth together and the silence stretched on for long enough that I didn’t expect him to ever answer. I tried to slip off the counter but he gripped my thighs to hold me still and deepened his voice.
“Stay, Sutton. We’re not in the club but I still expect you to listen to me.”
I shoved his hands away and gathered all my courage to say what I’d never said to anyone before. At that moment it wasn’t just Dominic standing there, it was everyone who’d ever hurt me.
“Fuck you!”
He stumbled back and I tried to flee but Leon and Theo were there, grabbing me. Theo pinned me to his chest and held me tight.
“Just stop, Sutton. Please. Listen to us!”
I was too emotional to listen to reason or his calm voice. I struggled free of his grip and found myself in Dominic’s instead. His voice was hard and his eyes burned into mine as he spoke.
“Stop, Sutton. Be still.”
Fear choked me as my body responded to the tone he’d used. My body didn’t feel like my own as I stared up at him, perfectly still, awaiting his next instruction. It wasn’t fair. He couldn’t just do that to me.
“We didn’t agree to do this here, in the house. You’re breaking the rules. You’re using what you do in the club and it’s not right. Please, stop, Dominic. We didn’t agree to this. I didn’t consent to you controlling me in the house.”
He recoiled like I’d drawn a weapon. His face went pale and he stumbled backwards into the counter behind him.
“F-fuck. I’m sorry. I…”
I didn’t stay around to hear more of what he had to say. I fled to my room and locked myself inside. I was shaking wildly but it had nothing to do with fear and everything to do with me feeling broken. Even as I’d run away, I’d hoped they’d chase me down and pin me to the floor. I’d hoped they’d ignore me and force me to take the pleasure they handed out. I’d climbed the stairs with my breath held, waiting for the second one of them grabbed me. It wasn’t relief I felt when I slammed my door shut. It was disappointment.
CHAPTER 35
Sutton
