Or rather, trying to stand.
My legs feel like thick, unresponsive jelly.
The floor is cold and unforgiving beneath my bare feet, and it feels like it’s stealing all my will to live as well as my body heat.
I am naked, exposed, a raw nerve ending laid bare for this, this horror. My hands are pressed together high above my head, palms together, fingers digging into my palms to keep them from shaking so badly I might shatter.
My wrists ache from the pressure, my skin feels like it’s been turned to leather and stretched tight.
He stands in front of me, his shadow falling over me, swallowing me whole. From the corner of my eyes, I can see his face is a mask of cruel satisfaction.
He doesn’t speak yet, he just watches, waiting.
Waiting for me to falter.
Waiting for me to fail.
I try to hold still, I really fucking do. I force my legs to still, my back ramrod straight despite the fire burning through every single muscle. My shoulders tremble, and I can’t stop them. I can’t.
It’s like my body has a will of its own, betraying my desperate attempts at composure.
A tremor runs down my spine, making my arms waver enough that my hands fly apart then clumsily, desperately they try to find each other again.
Don’t move.Don’t fail.
But he sees it.
Of course he fucking does.
His lips curl into a cruel smile. He raises his hand, the prod clutched in it – a thing of cold, humming metal. I see the flash of blue light from its tip, feel the air around it crackle with terrifying energy.
No.Please, nooo…
I don’t know if I speak those words out loud, if I scream them, or if I just hear them on repeat in my head.
He brings it down. The sound is a sharp crack like a bullwhip, but the pain is different, electric. It’s a jolt that travels straight down my spine, through my legs, making them buckle instantly. My knees collapse and my hands fly apart again, falling limply by my sides as the world tilts and spins.
I feel the sharp sting on my bare skin where the arc hit, but it’s drowned out by the roaring in my ears and the hammering of my heart against my ribs.
“Get up. Stand.”
His voice is a low growl, rough like sandpaper. It slices through my panic.
I try. Itryto stand, but my legs are leaden and unresponsive. They won’t obey. They tremble uncontrollably, threatening to give way again. My eyes water. I blink desperately, trying to clear the blurring vision, trying to focus but it swims before my eyes and then stupidly, so fucking stupidly I look up. I look at him.
He doesn’t wait. Before I can even fully collapse, before my knees can hit the floor, the shock hits again. It’s worse this time, a stronger jolt, a deeper burn.
I cry out, a choked, breathless sound escaping my lips.No, no, don’t…
“Silence.”
The shock follows the sound, another punishing jolt that makes my whole body convulse. I scream, a raw, terrified sound that rips from my throat, but it’s immediately cut off by another shock, harder, fiercer.
My body goes completely rigid then collapses on the cold floor, the trembling ceasing for a second before starting again with a frantic, desperate spasm.
I can feel the pool of something warm, something wet beneath me. Then the stench reaches my nose, and my shame engulfs me as I realise I’ve pissed myself.
“Get back up. Now.”
