“So, we got our asses handed to us.”
I sigh. “Yes. Pretty much.”
“We’re going back,” he says. It’s not a question.
I nod. “We’re going back.”
Anger is simmering under his calm demeanor. His emotions mirror my own. I’ve been remembering the events that happened on the dam over and over again. The heart-wrenching fear that I felt as Jude was thrown into the lake.
“She wants to kill the Devil of the Wastes. And Helios…” he says.
Helios will die with his lover if Maeve gets her hands on them. He might have broken my heart, but the urge to protect him is still overpowering.
“We won’t let her,” I say calmly. Too calmly. “And we’ll get theFireflyback.”
Jude smiles. “Glad we’re on the same page.”
“Tonight, we rest. You drowned. Your body needs to recharge and heal. Tomorrow, we’ll come up with a plan.”
The image of his lifeless body on the rocks still haunts me. He was dead for a moment. It bothers me more than it should. So much more.
Jude nods.
He makes himself a nest in the hut with the dry blankets and falls asleep in the afternoon. I have nothing better to do but watch him and stay in the shade. Luckily, the river lowers the temperatures in the canyons.
Before nightfall, I go into the water again to catch more fish. We’ll need all the energy we can get. Our plunge in the lake earlier, followed by our swim in the river, has taken the edge off my fear of water.
As I stand in the current, a memory resurfaces. Helios tried to teach me how to swim when I was sixteen and he was just fourteen. “This might come in handy,” he said. Of course, he was right. In our world, your survival often hangs by a thread. Learn everything that can give you the upper hand. His mom had taught him how to swim when he was four.
It didn’t go well. I panicked, even though I couldn’t drown. I stunned all the fish in a sixty-foot radius around me. They all floated to the surface, bellies up. My fear turned into anger. My memory sharpens enough to cut. I scared Helios that day. And he just stood there, shaking. That night, as I cried in the dark, I told him about the jellyfish tank and my terror of water. He said that he was sorry. So sorry to have made me endure it.
But I never apologized for scaring him.
It’s no wonder his affection turned to hate over the years. I would hate me too.
I dive into the river, hoping I could drown. But, of course, I don’t.
By the time darkness falls and I cook my catch over the fire pit, Jude rises. He comes out of the hut looking disheveled and still half asleep. I’m not used to seeing him with his guard down. So… vulnerable. And always achingly beautiful. The orange glow from the fire makes his short ginger hair shine.
He comes to stand in front of me.
“I almost expected to find you gone when I woke up,” he says. “That would have been your perfect opportunity to be free. You could even have gotten theFireflyback for yourself. Be rid of me at last.”
I nod. “The idea crossed my mind once or twice.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
“I realized that I didn’t want to be rid of you.”
Jude’s lips part, but he says nothing.
While I mulled over my new predicament this afternoon, I realized that I was craving his twisted attention. Even though he hated me, he still wanted me. And I don’t want it to stop. I want more. His venom is fucking addictive, and I’ll dive into the tank to get more if I have to.
“Maybe I enjoy having a master,” I say out loud.
Jude’s next breath intake is short of a gasp. He steps forward, closer still. And I have to crane my neck to watch his face. He slides his right hand into my hair at the back of my head and pulls.
“You want to stay at my mercy?” he asks.
