He had told me he would keep all his promises to me, but there was one I knew he couldn’t keep. He couldn’t protect my brothers from Aunt Ruth. She possessed them until they came of age, and he could not change the law. All I could do was say the one thing that would silence him forever, the thing I had promised Mrs. Kellaway I would tell him.
I turned to face him. “I’m engaged.” My voice was harsher than I intended.
Owen’s brow creased, his eyes flooding with confusion.
My heart raced against my breastbone. “It’s recent, and isn’t public yet…but I wanted to tell you before I leave.” My lips still burned from his kiss, and my mind wasn’t working properly.
His chest rose and fell with a heavy breath. “Leave? Annette—” His confusion seemed to stall his thoughts.
“I am engaged to marry someone else, and that I why I cannot answer your question.” My voice was firm, but it shook with emotion.
Just then, a footman stepped through the half-opened door. We both turned. I caught my breath, taking a step away from Owen. I composed myself the best I could, forcing my heart to slow down. Seemingly from out of nowhere, another man appeared behind the footman.
It was Mr. Baines, a bouquet of white roses in hand.
“Ah, Miss Downing! Just the lady I hoped to see.” He moved past the footman and into the drawing room. He lowered a deep bow in my direction, then in Owen’s. “Dr. Kellaway, a fine morning, is it not?”
Owen took a moment to answer, his throat shifting with a swallow. “Indeed.” His jaw tightened as he bowed. His gaze flickered from Mr. Baines to me, and then to the floor.
Panic seized my shoulders. I could only imagine the assumptions Owen was making. The timing of Mr. Baines’s visit couldn’t have possibly been worse. My face grew hot as Owen took a step back.
“I’ll leave you to it,” he mumbled. He gave another brief nod before striding toward the staircase.
I turned, flustered, in Mr. Baines’s direction. He removed his top hat, revealing his thick dark hair. He extended the roses to me with a smile. “I meant to call upon you sooner, but it’s a fairdrive to Kellaway Manor.” He nodded toward the bouquet. “Did I remember correctly your preference for white roses?”
I gave a stiff nod. My mind stumbled over every word I tried to say, leaving me entirely speechless. I wanted to run after Owen and tell him that I wasn’t engaged to Mr. Baines, but did it matterwhohe thought I was engaged to? The result would be the same. Owen would understand as I did that we couldn’t be anything but friends, and soon strangers once again. But my task was not over. I still had to give Mr. Baines the same disheartening news.
“You did remember correctly, and that is very kind.” I swallowed, considering my next words carefully.
Mr. Baines examined my expression, his brown eyes falling down at the corners. “Do you not like them?”
“I do, but—” I cleared my throat. I hardly knew the correct course of action in the current situation. Was I to accept the roses or not? I took a deep breath, trying to appear less discomposed than I felt. The agitation of my emotions was making my head spin. This would not be an easy conversation.
CHAPTER 29
Iheld the upturned bouquet of white roses at my side, my feet dragging me toward my bedchamber. I was exhausted in every possible way. Thankfully, Mr. Baines had taken the news of my engagement well.
Much better than Owen had.
Our kiss replayed through my mind, and my emotions were still reeling. If he had meant to convince me that I loved him, he had done it. I had been right to be afraid of him, because now that we had kissed, I would never be the same. I would have to carry that memory with me, and I would have to think of Owen each time I kissed Mr. Frampton. The hollowness in my chest spread, until I felt like a mere shell, fragile and weak.
I sat down at my writing desk and buried my face in my hands. Writing a letter to Aunt Ruth was the last thing I wanted to do. I closed my eyes, trying to remember the details of Mr. Frampton’s face. There was nothing memorable or thrilling about the exercise, and it was followed by a wave of despair. Everything about him would become familiar over the course of my life, but to marry someonewhilethey were still so unfamiliar…it was terrifying. It was unbelievable to think that just a few weeks before, it had been a dream come true.
Sudden anger coursed through my veins as I began my letter. I didn’t even want to call her my aunt. She was not my relation by blood, so I felt no qualms in dissolving that connection.
Mrs. Ruth Filbee,
Since you give me no choice but to wed Mr. Frampton, I give you no choice but to wait until after the first of August. The Kellaways have invited me to a ball, which I plan to attend. I wouldn’t expect you to understand the meaning of love, but I have learned it during my time here. I have learned what it means to fall in love. I have felt happiness again, even after you did all you could to deprive me of it.
Mr. Frampton is not my choice, and he does not have my heart, but he is a good man. Though I hardly know him, I already regard his character far higher than yours. You have done nothing but hurt and belittle my brothers and me for the past five years, so I should be grateful for an escape from your wicked influence and into the home of Mr. Frampton.
After I’m married, I hope to never see you again. If I must, let it only be in the pews at church on Sundays, where you might actually listen to my husband’s words and learn to apply them.
Annette
I finished writing, slamming the quill down on the table. I sealed it, addressed it, and glowered down at the letter with a surge of pride. It did my heart good to imagine Aunt Ruth tearing the seal, reading my words, and fuming until smoke escaped her ears.
If only I could actually send it.
