He crossed his arms. The light from the window illuminated each of his features. “Where shall I begin? The list is extensive.” He drew a step closer. “You said you wanted to be my friend, and that is what I am trying to be. You may forget any other implications I made.” He swallowed hard, as if the words hadbeen painful on the way out. “The last thing I wanted to do was frighten you.”
My defenses rose. “Frighten me?”
“Yes.” He spoke so matter-of-factly, as if he had discerned my emotions clearly before I even had.
It was true. Iwasafraid of what he made me feel.
I was afraid of hurting him, and of hurting myself. Every moment I spent near him made me question my duty, tempting me to confide in him. But I couldn’t pit Owen against Aunt Ruth. If he lost, I would lose my brothers. That risk was not worth anything.
A chill spread between my shoulder blades, and I found myself staring at his lips again. “You don’t frighten me.”
“I don’t?”
He was taunting me, I just knew it. My heart thudded fast. My gaze flickered at everything but him. “You don’t.”
He drew closer, until I had to tip my head up to see his eyes. “Then what do you feel right now?”
A thousand things. My heart beat fast in my throat. I had been trying so hard to hide my feelings from Owen, but there must have been a crack somewhere along the way. Where had I gone wrong? His penetrating eyes seemed to be able to see straight into my heart to read what was written there.
I stood my ground, crossing my arms tight across my chest. “I feel perfectly ordinary.”
His lips twitched toward a smile. “Your nostrils would say otherwise.”
I clenched my jaw.Blast my betraying nose.
He captured my gaze for several seconds before he spoke again. “I didn’t sleep last night. Would you like to know why?”
“No,” I muttered.
“You.” His features were serious. “I heard you clearly last night, but what I saw in your face was a different matter. I think you have been lying to me, and you promised not to do that.”
I breathed deeply, my skin on fire. Now would be the perfect time to tell him about Mr. Frampton, but the confession was lodged in my throat.
He looked down at me, holding just as still as I was. “My poetry lesson to the boys means you now owe me an answer to another question.”
I swallowed hard, willing my cheeks to cool. “Well, then. Ask it.”
I tried to appear confident, even as he drew closer. His voice was low and vulnerable as his eyes searched my face. “I want to know if you feel anything for me—anything beyond friendship. You have implied that you don’t, but I must have your answer in terms that cannot be mistaken. If you say you feel nothing for me, I will leave you alone.”
My composure faltered. My pulse raced, and the heat from the window made me lightheaded. “That is not a fair question,” I blurted.
“How is it not fair?” He scowled. “What is not fair, is that you continue to punish me with your contradictions.” His voice was quiet. His hand lifted to my face, and his thumb grazed the edge of my jaw. “What is not fair, is that you are this beautiful, and this…maddening, yet you hold me in suspense, as if it is all a game to you.”
This. This was why I had been avoiding him. My heart caught fire, a burst of flame that spread heat over every inch of my skin. I felteverythingfor him, everything possible. His restless breathing made my insides tumble. I couldn’t give him an answer, not an honest one.
“Youaremy friend, Owen.” My voice shook. “What else might I feel for you but friendship? I lack understanding in these matters, and it is unfair of you to?—”
He leaned down with a groan, capturing my lips with his. I froze, my arms limp at my sides, until all my thoughts blurred together and my heart galloped. I hardly knew what to expect from a kiss, or how to properly receive one, but the effect Owen’s kiss had on my entire being was more than I could have imagined.
A slow thrill ran over my neck and spine and arms, and a wave of longing tore through me. His lips were determined to teach me something, and I found that I was an excellent student. I anchored my hands to his jacket, and he buried his fingers in my hair. I moved my mouth right along with his before I thought better of it, and soon I was kissing him back.
His hands pressed into my waist, then between my shoulderblades, holding me steady. How could I only do this once? My heart ached at the thought, but then he kissed me slowly, deeply, until I forgot what I had been thinking a moment before.
I melted into his arms, my heart racing in my chest. His kiss softened, then stopped. My eyes fluttered open as our lips parted, and I realized the horrible, horrible thing I had done.
I stepped away, shaking my head. My hand moved to my lips in shock. I breathed quickly, turning away from him.
“Annette—” He caught me by the arm.
