It felt like his voice was the only thing keeping her from collapsing at his feet. Her friends were here. The people she’d walked away from. The people she’d told her uncle she never again wanted to see.
“Again, Ellen. Breathe in, one, two, three.”
She looked at him. Focused on his eyes and the feel of the warmth of the hand now holding hers. He talked in a steady, deep voice, and panic began to ease. Minutes later, she could take her first deep breath.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” His smile was small but all the more powerful, as she’d never seen it before.
“How did you know?”
“That you were panicking?” She nodded. “I used to have episodes like that. I saw it in you,” he said.
A vision of him in a garden filled her head.
“You walked here, outside,” she said before she could halt the words.
His eyes were steady on hers. “How did you know that?”
She shrugged. “I’m sure a house like this has a lovely garden.” She said the words quickly, and when she stopped, a silence settled between them. It should have been uncomfortable, but strangely, it wasn’t. He still held her hand, and she didn’t want him to release her.
“What did you see, Ellen?”
“What? I mean, pardon?” He couldn’t know. If anyone knew what she saw, they’d turn from her, like society had.
“You had a vision. What did you see?”
Her laugh was high-pitched.
“Wh-what made you panic? Why did you have those episodes, Detective Fletcher?”
She held her breath as she waited to hear what he’d say. Luckily, he did not pursue the answer to the question he’d asked.
“Because I left everything I knew.”
“When did they stop, the panic attacks?”
“It took many months, but eventually they did. And yes, being outside in the garden helped.” He was still looking at her, his eyes seeking answers she would never give.
“I will remember what you taught me about the breathing.”
“I learned that from my butler.” He smiled again.
“Thank you, I will not forget.”
“Do you want to leave, Ellen, and not speak with those women in there? I can make that happen and tell your uncle.”
“No. They deserve more from me than that. I will talk to them. But what of you? This is your house, and now it is full of people you have no wish to have here.”
“That’s true. So far, I’ve avoided all contact with the life I once had… until today.”
“I’m sorry.” And she was. Ellen knew how important it had been to her she left that life behind. She had gone into hiding after the humiliation and devastation she and her family had suffered after her father’s death. She’d vowed never to return to society. Her uncle and aunt had respected those wishes, as had her brothers.
“I loved those two women in that room. The Sinclair twins were my friends, and I walked away from them without a word of explanation,” Ellen said.
“I’m sure they understood why.”
“Perhaps, and while I will never return to that life, I should have told them I was at least well. I ran and hid.” She never talked about this. Gave no one insight into the woman she was. She’d chosen to be strong and closed off. Even her family rarely understood what was really going on inside Ellen’s head.
