At least her hair was a manageable length, and just needed a brush run through it. For the first time in days, she put on some lip gloss and mascara, and refused to acknowledge that she was doing so because of a certain sheriff. After a few breathing exercises to calm herself, Katie then left the room to face the large, disturbing male waiting for her.
He was leaning against the kitchen cabinets, taking up all the space.
“I need a few days, Cubby, so let’s be reasonable about this. You head back and I’ll follow. Jake knows now, and if I don’t come home soon he’ll come and get me, so you don’t have to worry.”
“I have two more days here, max. So I’ll just hang out with you until we leave.”
“You’ll be more comfortable in your hotel, Cubby.” She would be calm like him if it killed her.
He pushed upright in that slow easy way he had. “We gonna argue every point, Katie?”
“I don’t need you looking after me, Cubby. I’m good now, and I said I’d go back to Howling, and I will. I just need to sort some things out before I do.” Katie knew after what he’d just done for her she sounded ungrateful, but she wanted him to go, because he’d seen her drunk, dirty, and pathetic, and she could never erase that picture from his head, so she’d avoid him until she returned home and then she’d only acknowledge him when she had to.
“You recovered quick,” he drawled.
Ignoring the dig, Kate said, “I need to clean up, so you go on.”
“I’ll get the dishes.”
“No! Just go, Cubby.” Katie turned away from him and braced a hand on the cabinet. “I’m not that little girl you need to protect anymore… Jake’s little sister, and I-I don’t feel like I did about—”
“You saying I don’t light up your life now, princess?”
God, she’d loved him so much, but poking around inside her chest she realized she didn’t have that capacity inside her anymore. Right now she had cold, dark, empty spaces that she wasn’t sure would ever be filled.
“I just lost three colleagues, and one was the closest thing to a best friend I’ve ever had, so don’t make fun of me, Cubby.”
“I’m sorry, Katie.” She felt his hand on her shoulder and wanted to turn into his arms. The thought of all that strength wrapped around her made her knees weak, but she didn’t need it… didn’t need him. She was strong now, had learned to be, and she’d get through this too without his help.
“Just go, please,” she whispered. She felt his eyes on her, then she heard him leave, softly closing the door behind him.
“I’m a bitch, a slob, and a pathetic coward,” Katie whispered, and she wanted a drink desperately, but before she allowed herself one she had to clean this place.
She cleaned, vacuuming and washing floors, and then stripping her bed, she threw her sheets in the wash. None of it was easy with one hand, but it gave her mind something to occupy it other than seeing all the blood and empty stares of her dead friends. When she was done, the need for a drink was strong, so she promised herself a small one. She didn’t need it, not really, and could stop at any time, but her wrist hurt and she was an adult and if she wanted a drink, she’d have one. Opening the cupboard above the sink, she found it empty. There had been three bottles in there. Slamming it shut, Katie realized Cubby must have taken them.
“Asshole, how dare he!”
Grabbing her bag, she left, locking the apartment, and headed outside. She could get a drink on the way, or pick up another bottle for when she got home later. Cubby Hawker would get a piece of her mind when she caught up with him. She was an adult; how bloody dare he treat her like she was still a child… still the little princess he and his friends had watched over.
Spring in LA was Katie’s favorite time of year, because the weather wasn’t oppressive like the summer could be, and the crowds of visitors, like in the height of the tourist season, had not yet arrived. She got on the bus and found a seat at the front. This was the first time in a month she was returning to work, and knew it wouldn’t be easy.
She looked at the people on the street and wondered where Cubby was. Seeing him had been a shock.
He was a reminder of the young, innocent, extremely silly girl she had once been. She’d no right to treat him as she had, especially as he was doing what he thought was right for her… what a friend would do for another friend’s sister. But she didn’t want his help. Katie could sort herself out; she just needed some time to do it. She’d been making her own decisions for years now, and going back to Howling in the condition she was in would make everyone want to look out for her. Just the thought of all that love made her twitch.
She loved her family and friends, missed them a great deal, but right now she wanted only herself for company.
“And you got no chance of that happening,” she said, walking toward the building she had worked in for the last two years.
“Hey, Katie girl.”
“Ray.” Katie lifted a hand to acknowledge the man at the front desk.
People called out to her, and she smiled or lifted a hand in return, and as she reached the floor she worked on her stomach clenched so tight, it was a struggle to draw in a decent lungful of air.
“Katie.”
“Hey, Brad.” She shook hands as she walked, and tried not to look at the empty desks of her friends.
