“Yeah, I learned that one pretty quick. Jenny started asking for me to put more money in the joint account, said prices were going up at the grocery store and everywhere else. I never shopped, so I didn’t know. I started finding things of hers that I’d never seen before. A nice pair of earrings, new shoes she never wore around me but the soles were scuffed. Lingerie.”
He swallowed. Sylvie was a third of the way out of the harness. “When I found that, I was hoping she was saving it for a special night.” He clenched his jaw. “And she was. A special night with someone else while I was overseas.”
Sylvie’s entire body tensed. “Oh, yuck. I’m sorry.”
“Relax for me, baby.” He ran a hand down her back and his half-undone work until she relaxed. “I found out from another guy on the base who recognized her. He didn’t say anything at first, thinking he must be mistaken, but then he saw her again, out with a different guy. Said that one gave her the earrings over dinner.”
Sylvie closed her eyes and shook her head slowly. “So you confronted her?”
“I did. But she turned on her magic. She told me how lonely I made her feel, how much I’d changed since we’d gotten married, that I took her for granted after all the nice things she’d done for me. By the time we were done talking, I was blaming myself for everything.”
“Classic narcissist.”
“Yeah. I’ve come to know that word well.” Alex started on the knots under her breasts. “So, we agreed to try again after I promised to spend more time—and money—on her. And for a while, things seemed to get better—between us, at least. My teammates were worried though because I never went out with them anymore. And I didn’t do that because Jenny didn’t approve of them, accused me of only wanting to go out with them so I could take some other woman home.”
Sylvie blinked rapidly. “Wow. Did she project all the time or only most of the time?”
Alex grinned at her attempt to lighten the mood. “Exactly. So, we started bickering again, followed by crazy make-up sex, followed by more bickering that turned into fighting. I started to worry again and doubled down on my efforts to please her. Whenever any of my brothers tried to talk sense into me, I pushed them away. I wanted my marriage to work and I was going to put the same effort into it as I put into my job. Which got harder to do because I was worried that she’d be off with some other guy again while I was gone. Jenny was always worse when I came home, like she resented me being there. Ruining her fun.”
Sylvie just shook her head. She took his hands in hers and held them, then brought them up to her lips and kissed them before letting him continue untying her.
“Then I came home from one of my missions and she was waiting for me, fancy dinner ready, flowers on the table, my favorite music playing. Sweet as can be, and happy. I thought we’d turned the corner. I told her I loved her and I wanted her—us—to work things out. I could take some leave while we did. We could go somewhere, anywhere she wanted. Someplace real nice.” Another knot fell apart under his fingers.
“And that’s when she told me the news. She said she was carrying my baby.”
Sylvie’s eyes grew as big as saucers. Alex knew she must have a million questions, but she stayed quiet, giving him room to tell her his story his way. He appreciated it, appreciated her continuing trust.God, she’s incredible. Everything I’ve ever wanted.
“Jenny put her hands on her stomach while I stared at her in shock. Then I picked her up and spun her around and kissed her. I wanted to be a dad, I knew it at that moment. I wanted to be a father. It was like a sign, you know? That we were meant to be.” One more knot loosened.
“I asked her if she was okay, if she’d been to the doctor yet and she said she had. She said that everything was fine, but that the doctor told her shemightdeliver a couple weeks early. So I worried, you know? That maybe therewassomething wrong if he’d said that. But she insisted that everything was fine. Women delivered early all the time and she and the baby would be fine.”
Alex shook his head. “I should’ve known something was wrong with that. But, she was so convincing. So happy. I told her she was done cooking, done doing housework, that I’d hire someone to help out when I was gone and take care of everything while I was home.Put your feet up, baby, I told her.Meet your new domestic goddess. She laughed at that; we both did. So happy.”
“What happened?” Sylvie asked quietly, her voice heartbreakingly gentle.
He loosened more of the cord. “I was home one day about a month later.” He chuckled bitterly. “Vacuuming, actually. I’d kept my promise about being a domestic goddess. Jenny was out picking up groceries. I wanted to do it, but she shooed me off and called me a mother hen, that I was smothering her. She needed fresh air. She said it jokingly, but I thought maybe she had a point. She still needed to exercise; she told me the doctor said so.
“Someone knocked on the door. I was vacuuming right in front of it or I wouldn’t have heard. I opened the door and a man was standing there. It took me a second to place him from the base. He looked ashen.” Alex was nearing the end of the knots.
“My heart stopped and I swore. She was dead, she and my baby were dead, I knew it, and he’d come to tell me. And it was my fault because I’d let her go pick up groceries.”
Alex closed his eyes. When he opened them, he said, “I stood there with my mouth open. The guy shuffled his feet and then he said, ‘Did she tell you? She told you, didn’t she?’”
Sylvie covered her mouth. “Oh, no.”
“Yeah. This guy had come to fess up. He’d slept with my wife while I was gone on that last mission and he just found out she was pregnant three days ago. When he confronted her, she said she was pretty sure it was his but not positive. And anyway, he didn’t need to worry about it because her husband was thrilled to be a dad. She wouldn’t—” Alex cleared his throat. “She wouldn’t ask him for child support because with a…with abrat, she was set for life with me.”
“What a bitch.”
Alex blinked rapidly. “I just didn’t know what to say. I stood there staring at him like a damned fool. Until he started talking again. He told me that the guilt was eating him up. He felt bad that he’d slept with her—”
“Felt bad about the consequences, more like,” Sylvie huffed.
Alex gave her a soft smile. “True. He wanted to do the right thing now, whatever that was. Step up. I told him to step off. So he said he understood. He gave me his card and turned around and left.”
“Oh, Alex.”
He went back to the remaining knots. “I closed the door against him and turned the vacuum cleaner back on. I wanted it to cover the noise in case I howled.” He pressed his lips together until they looked bloodless. “I cried, Sylvie. But I didn’t cry for me, or for her. I cried for that little baby I’d just lost. I wasn’t a father after all. Then I realized that the baby hadn’t lostme. My little girl or boy would always have my love, no matter what. Blood didn’t make a difference, not to me. I know other people might feel differently about that.”
