“Me neither,” she whispered back. “I want you to stay right where you are.”
She floated on a cloud of perfect contentment as he kissed her hairline and stroked her back. When she started to drift off, he woke her.
“Hey. Don’t fall asleep quite yet. I need to untie you.”
“It’s fine,” she mumbled.
He chuckled. “It might not be when you wake up.” Alex shifted and she lost his cock, which she complained about with a soft growl. He sat up and looked her over again, ran his fingers along his work one last time.
“You’ve really never done this before?” she asked.
“Never.” He paused. “Never had a woman who I was brave enough to ask. I was afraid she’d think I was a deviant, or that I’d hurt her. I’ve never had this level of trust in a relationship.”
“Not even with your ex-wife?” The words were out before she could stop them.Great, fantastic, I’m sure this is what he really wants to talk about right now.
He shook his head. “Especially not her.”
And there it was—complete devastation in his eyes.
CHAPTERSEVENTEEN
“Alex, I’m sorry I asked.” Sylvie reached up and stroked his face. So gentle, so warm. He cupped his hand over hers.
“Don’t be sorry, baby. You just wanted to know.” He fingered one of the knots, the one right between her breasts. “I’ll need you to sit up.”
Sylvie got to her knees on the bed beside him. He started on the first knot, loosening it carefully. “You really enjoyed this?” He hated the tentative tone in his voice. “You aren’t just pretending?”
She gave him a throaty laugh. “Oh, God no. This was amazing. I’m still processing it. I’ve never been this way with anyone.”
“Earlier, when we were talking. I had the impression that you…”
“If you mean my need to be in control, and you’re somehow tying it to my past, don’t. It’s a closed chapter, Alex, I promise. I worked out my baggage a long time ago. I have wonderful parents who love me, a respectable career that I love, friends, a great dog.You. I’m fine, I promise.”
She stroked his arm. “It’s not a perfect life, and there are times that it gets rough, but my past doesn’t haunt me and I have no regrets about it. I think maybe you do have some things that still haunt you.” She raised his chin until he was looking at her instead of the cord. “So, talk to me.”
He studied her eyes. She wanted his story, so he’d give it to her as he untied all the knots.
“I met her in a bar close to the base, of course.” Alex smiled, feeling a little embarrassed. That felt like a lifetime ago. A different man. “I was out with my team after a mission, blowing off steam, laughing and trying to forget the hard parts. I was playing pool, lining up a shot and she walked behind me just as I pulled the cue back and I knocked the drink right out of her hand. I apologized profusely, offered to buy her a new one, and we ended up talking over three. She told me her name was Jenny, said she was visiting from out of town, considering a move to San Diego. She was staying with a friend who was trying to convince her to move. The same friend who left her at the bar with me.”
Alex rolled his eyes. “That should have been my first clue that something was off, but instead, I was mad at her friend for doing that. The woman didn’t know me from Adam. I could’ve been anyone, with any intentions.”
Sylvie crossed her arms. “Yeah, she really broke the girl code. You don’t do that.” She dropped her arms, realizing she was blocking him, and smiled. “Keep going.”
Alex loosened another knot and lifted her arm to bring one of the loops around.
“So that really made my protective instincts kick in. I was the poster child of gentlemen and dropped her off outside an apartment building—she refused to let me walk her to the door. I figured that was the last I’d see of her, and was a little sad about it. She was sweet. Naïve, I thought. But, an out-of-towner who probably was going to stay that way. So imagine my surprise when I saw her again. She said she’d decided to come to San Diego, if it was full of nice people like me.”
He started on another knot. “After that, Jenny surprised me with all sorts of things. She’d make me cookies and leave them at my door. Send me texts in the middle of the day just to say she was thinking about me. I never told her my birthday but she found out anyway and organized a party at the bar with my friends. She could have made it professionally as a spy.” Alex couldn’t help but laugh ruefully. “Love-bombing is what I think the kids call it today.”
“Ah, yeah. Doing everything she could to make you feel special.”
“And it worked. I asked her to marry me two months after we met and she accepted. She was so easy to be with, so agreeable and spontaneous with her affection. We agreed about everything, had all the same opinions, the same goals, dreams. She even wanted to just elope, not have some big, fancy wedding—the sooner we could be married the better. And she was willing to be a military wife, which is one of the hardest jobs in the world. I was the happiest man alive, thinking I’d found the love of my life.”
“But you hadn’t.” It was Sylvie’s turn to smile ruefully.
He undid another knot and loosened another bond. “No. Found that out not even a year into the marriage. She started acting resentful, and I blamed myself and the strain of being married to someone who was gone God-knows-where half the time. I stepped up my game, showered her in gifts, took her to dinner whenever I was back. Skipped going out with my team in order to stay in with her and play twenty questions, asking her what was wrong and getting ‘nothing’ in return.”
“Which never means nothing.”
