They’re all Sax. I love parts and pieces of each of them.
It’s easier to admit it about Derrick, since he was the first, and his is the voice I heard and face I saw.
But when I reminisce about those moments, Ivan and Grant are now there too.
“I told Derrick I love him.”
It’s like ripping off a bandage. The words leave me wincing with their sting.
When I get up the guts to look at the guys, I’m not sure what I expected to see.
It wasn’t to see Ivan’s face lit up, his smile so wide I can practically see his molars, and Grant gazing at me withsoft, wet eyes like I am a miracle, a soft smile curving his lips.
It’s not long before Ivan’s excitement spills out into crowded words.
“So you forgive him? This… we can work? You’re willing to give us a real try?”
“I don’t think I forgive him, not yet. But I am not opposed to it. I’m willing to give him a shot at making it up to me.”
Grant adjusts himself in his chair, opening his chest up to me. “What does that mean for us?”
I run my fingers through my unruly hair, looking everywhere but either of them. “It means I want to know you. I want to… date? Court? Give this the good ol’ college try.”
Oh my God I need to stop talking.
I can hear Grant smothering a laugh. “Take a crack at it.”
“Oh, I’ll crack something for you.” Ivan winks at me, overexaggerated and flirty.
A laugh bursts out of me, and it quickly devolves into a fit of giggles that I cannot seem to stop. Tears are streaming down my cheeks, and I’m clutching my stomach as I bend over.
Grant smacks Ivan’s chest with the back of his hand. “You broke her, you weirdo.”
“I did not. I made her laugh. Which I’ve done several times now, thank you very much.”
“By being crude. Again. She’s going to think you’re a pervert.”
Ivan shrugs. “I am a pervert. For you. For her.” He wiggles his eyebrows and leans across the table. “I cannot help it that I’m surrounded by sexy people. I only have so much self-control. You get it, right, Ariana? I mean… look athim.” Ivan gestures up and down Grant’s body, making the Beta flush red. “I am but an Alpha, after all.”
There’s only one part of their pack dynamic I never got around to asking about. “So, Ivan. Do you and Derrick…”
Ivan looks like he caught a whiff of something bad. “Ew. No. I’m not into Alphas. It’s hot to watch the two of them together and share Grant, but Derrick and I are strictly platonic.”
This conversation is only possible because the two are unashamed about how they feel for one another. There are so many ways to be together, especially within a pack, that being shy is doing everyone a disservice.
Not that I know much about relationships.
In our culture, sex doesn’t matter much when it comes to people’s preferences. Designations drive attractiveness, and there tends to be little preference for the genitals a person has.
There are groups that are trying to change that. One Alpha, one Omega purists who don’t believe in packs. And there are people who think Alphas and male Betas shouldn’t be together because there is no chance for procreation.
Not that I thought the guys would be like that, but it’s nice to have it confirmed.
“It works out well,” Ivan continues. “I’m a voyeur, Grant is an exhibitionist. Everyone wins.”
This is news to me. Derrick was the one I hadspicyconversations with, and he didn’t share either of those things with me.
But he did share something.
