But it’s possible.
Just like it’s possible that I already love Grant and Ivan.
Sometimes, when Ivan talks, I can recognize it as something Sax said.
Ivan calls me sweetie.
Grant calls me baby.
Derrick calls me honey.
Sax called me all three.
If I had my phone, I bet I could scroll up and point out messages from each of them because of that.
“It’s going to be okay, baby. I know you can handle this.”
“Sweetie, you’re the smartest person I know. You have nothing to worry about.”
“Alright, honey. I’ll agree with you. This time.”
“You awake, sweetie?” Ivan is at the door, and his use of the pet name has my heart fluttering.
“Yeah, let me get dressed.”
“Oh, don’t put yourself out on my account. I’m happy to come in now.”
God, his flirting is going to be the death of me. Since the heat spike, I’ve fought not to think about the guys that way, but it is really hard.
“Don’t be weird!” Grant’s voice sounds far away, but I can still hear him chastising his Alpha.
Five minutes later, I’ve brushed my teeth and put a bra on and head into the living area. I don’t bother with my contacts. I’ll do that after I shower.
“She’s alive!” Ivan dramatically throws himself at me, stopping short of falling to my feet. “We worried that something was wrong when you ran straight into your room after the interview.”
Right. I need to tell them about the call.
“I didn’t mean to worry y’all.” Grant hands me a coffee before my ass hits the chair. I don’t have to sip it to know he made it exactly the way I like it. “It wasn’t an interview. It was a phone call from Derrick.”
My Beta’s eyebrows shoot up into his hairline. “Shit, really? What did he say?”
“A lot. We argued a bit, too.”
Ivan snorts into the espresso cup that looks like a toy in his big hands. “I expect nothing less.”
Do I tell them I told him I loved him?
Shouldn’t they know that? They’re in a pack. Don’t they share everything?
“I don’t know how packs work. Like, is it an everything is an open book thing? No keeping secrets?”
Grant waggles his hand. He doesn’t seem put off by my question. “We don’t like keeping secrets, but we don’t have to tell each other everything, either. It’s kind of a need-to-know basis. Like, if it will affect us all, we’ll tell each other, but if it doesn’t? There’s nothing wrong with holding some things to your chest.”
So that’s the question. Will my telling Derrick I love him affect the guys?
It will, won’t it?
He’s their packmate, and he loves me, and I told him the same. Regardless of how much his lies hurt me, I cannot imagine my life without him. All of them, if I’m being honest with myself.
