But Sax is going to be there.
I say his name like a prayer, an encouragement that I sorely need.
I’m going to get to meet Sax.
“Ariana, you need to get in the car. You’re expected on the plane soon.”Drew’s voice is kind through my phone. He’s the production coordinator ofKnot What You Expected,who has been assigned to me while I’m on the show.
He’s also the one who sent the town car.
They chartered me a private flight to Georgia for filming, but that doesn’t change the fact that I have to get in this car.
“The driver is an Alpha! I told you, I need a Beta driver.”
I understand that I’m being difficult, I do, but this was one of my concessions to keep me from backing out of filming.
My first phone call with theExpectedteam was rough. Iexplained to them that I had never applied and therefore could not do the show. They did not like hearing that.
Apparently, Marlie had given them all the information they needed to find Sax, and he had already agreed to meet me. I felt like I couldn’t back out once they told me that.
He wanted to meet me.
Over the years, my relationship with Sax has evolved, and no matter what’s been happening in our lives, we’ve always made time for one another. Except when we were nineteen, he went quiet, responding to texts with a few one-word answers and promises to catch up soon. I assumed it was because he started college, joined a fraternity, and was outgrowing his internet friend.
He came back to me a few months later, all apologies for pulling back.
I forgave him, because, of course, I did.
He’s Sax.
He’s been there with me through everything, supported me with every step I made.
And they’ve been so hard to take sometimes.
After Calvin’s death, my relationship with my mother was strained because he looked just like her. How could I look into her eyes when all I saw was his, dim and glassy when they disconnected his life support?
We used to be so close, and now she feels like a stranger.
Or maybe I’m the stranger.
I don’t know who I am in a world without Calvin.
“I understand, but not all requests can be accommodated. We’ve done our best to reduce the number of Alphas on set, but our hands are tied. We’ve got contracts and unions we’re dealing with, here. But Paul has a bonded Omega. It’s why we chose him.”
I understand what he’s saying. Logically, it makes sense.
But anxiety isn’t logical. It doesn’t care about sense. It cares that my home is safe, and that the car is not. My home has no Alphas, and that car will.
I can’t do this.
I can’t.
Sax will understand, won’t he?
What would he say if I could call him right now?
Baby, sometimes a step can feel like a mile, and it’s okay if it takes you some time to take them.
I take one step closer to Paul.
