Her fear of Alphas worsened by the day. She attended virtual school after Calvin died to avoid Alpha exposure. When she opted out of attending college in person and chose to take only online classes, I worried I’d never have the chance to tell her the truth.
Then I met Grant.
How was I supposed to tell her I met my scent match? Betas don’t match with other Betas, and so my options were to tell her I matched with an Omega, which would break her heart, or that I matched with an Alpha, and she’d leave me.
I’d never get the chance with her, because being with me meant proximity to an Alpha.
So I pulled away.
I thought I was doing right by both of us, but I wasn’t. Iwas miserable. Grant convinced me to start talking to her again, and he quickly became enamoured with her. He’d sit at my feet while I video called her, hanging onto her every word.
I was nineteen when I fell in love for the second time. With a beautiful Beta with soft skin and kind eyes, who wanted me to have the Omega of my dreams. Who wanted her just as much as I did, even though he had never spoken to her.
I don’t think I could’ve fallen for him if I thought he wouldn’t accept Onion. The first time I heard her voice, I knew she was mine.
And now I’m faced with the possibility that I have ruined everything.
I won’t force her to be with me, Foresaken Omega Syndrome be damned. I will undergo a pheromone extraction every day for her if it means she can choose for herself.
I won’t let her body force her into a decision she doesn’t want to make.
The bottle of water sweats in my hands, making them clammy. I knock on the bedroom door several times, but only silence greets me.
“Ariana.” I press my shoulder against the door. “It’s Derrick. I know you hate me. I know I’m the last person you want to see and talk to right now. But please, let me in. Please. Please. Yell at me. Throw things at me. Scream. I will gladly take whatever you need to do to feel comfortable around me, but please let me in.”
She’s right here, on the other side of a panel of wood, and yet this is the farthest I’ve ever felt for her.
The door flies open, making me stumble and struggle to regain my balance.
My Omega stands before me with red cheeks andfurious eyes. “You want me to yell? You want me to throw things?”
“I don’twantthat. But I deserve it. I’ll accept it.”
“Oh, how noble of you.”
I don’t exactly force myself in, but now that the door is open, I’m not going to be on the other side of it, so I follow her as she strides away.
“I don’t hate you, Derrick. Don’t you get that? If I hated you, this would be easy. We’d stay here for a week and go our separate ways, and this nightmare would be over. But I don’t hate you. How can I? How can I hate you when it’s your face that I’ve pictured every night as I’ve fallen asleep for as long as I can remember?”
I close the door behind me, pressing my back against it as she paces around the space. I don’t interrupt her. I couldn’t, even if I wanted to. She’s talking so fast that it’s all I can do to keep up with her.
“I’m in love with you. Y’all? I don’t know. That’s what’s frustrating! Who the fuck was I talking to? Was it mostly you, but sometimes them? Was it equal? Grant doesn’t take cream in his coffee. That’s you. Are you the one who is allergic to kiwi, or is that Ivan? Who was it that helped me prepare for job interviews? Who did I tell my secrets to? Who knows my fantasies?”
She collapses onto the bed and buries her face in her hands. I wish I could block her from the cameras. I wish we didn’t have to have this conversation in front of an audience.
I should’ve told her the truth a long time ago.
I let this go on too long, and she’s hurting all the more for it.
“I’m embarrassed, Derrick. Mortified. The whole world is about to know that I am a sucker. That I was terrified to leave my home foryears. And I knew that in cominghere, my fears and faults would be made public, but it would be worth it if I finally got to meet you. You were going to be worth it. All of the risk, all of the fear, all the tears. It didn’t matter because you were at the end of that road. Do you know how many Alphas I came in contact with before you walked through that door?”
She wipes tears away from her face. No one is a pretty crier, but Ariana looks breathtaking.
“Do you want to know what the worst part is? If you had told me the truth, that you’re an Alpha, I probably still would have risked it for you. Instead, I’ve learned the intimacy we shared was a lie. That everything I ever told you became a topic of conversation at the dinner table!”
Her scent is sour with distress, and I am fighting my instincts not to gather her in my arms, bury her face in my neck, and purr for her.
But I can’t. I know that. That is not a privilege I have earned. My arms ache to hold her, but I may never get that chance.
