“We’ll let you know when they get back to us with more information.” She clears her throat and sits a littlestraighter. She flips her hair off her shoulders and plasters a broad smile on her face.
Oh.
They’re not going to air any of that conversation. She just put on her TV face.
“Ariana, I have a phone call for you.”
I blink slowly, the conversational switch giving me a bit of whiplash.
“I didn’t think we could take calls from home?”
“The call is, as they say, coming from inside the house.” She titters girlishly as I roll my eyes. “We have arranged for you to have a call with Sax, as you and Ivan discussed. Are you ready?”
Ready? Hell no, I’m not ready. But I can understand why this is happening so fast.
They want me out of this room. They need me to interact more with the guys. The first episode ofExpectedis always the interviews with the participants, the backstory, and it ends as soon as that door opens. So I’m living in episode two right now, and reality television won’t work if I’m on the other side of the door.
“I suppose I have to be,” I answer after a beat. “Video?”
I’m momentarily self-conscious about what I must look like after so much crying. It’s not that I care what America is seeing, but I don’t want Sax to see me so upset.
Especially not when he’s the cause.
“Audio only, actually. I’ll patch the call in now. Bye, Ariana. I hope you get the answers you need.”
The TV flickers to an image of a phone, a sound wave hovering over it.
Then that familiar voice I love so much fills the room.
“Hi, Onion.”
“Sax.” Saying his name feels like a weight has beenlifted off my chest. I know, logically, that this voice is the man who first walked through that door and is just feet away, but still.
Something about being here, in this room that looks so much like mine, hearing his voice, is helping.
“Are you doing okay, honey? You sound stressed out.”
His voice is a little strained, but that’s okay. It’s a strange situation.
“I am. I… we’re not going to be able to talk anymore.”
There’s a quiet beat before he answers me.“I know. I hate it. I’m sorry.”He sounds devastated, and the emotion choking his voice has tears running down my cheeks.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.”
“You’re incredible, Onion. There will be a learning curve to what comes next, but you’ve always been brilliant. You don’t need me.”
“I do. I do need you, Sax. I haven’t been the same since I lost Calvin. Who am I going to be once you’re gone, too?”
“Hey. Hey. You are more than your relationships, okay? You are not defined by the people around you. You were a whole person before you met me, and you’ll still be one when I’m gone.”
I brush the tears off my cheeks as I lie back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. “Yeah, sure. I’m so whole I cannot leave my house without devolving into panic.”
“Where are you right now?”
“I’m in a room that looks surprisingly like mine.”
“So, you’re not at home.”
