Step One was struggling to get the stroller onto an old, crowded elevator. Especially when Rosie finally pitched the final sock overboard right before I maneuvered her in and no one held the elevator for me. I scooped up the sock and had to throw my body in at the last second. And put up with dirty looks to boot. Didn’t anyone have children here in the Children’s Services building?
When the old elevator shuddered up to the third floor and the door opened, I had to blink twice. Adam stood there, dressed in a gray suit, a white shirt, and brown shoes. And a blue tie. Smiling.
I had to blink a few times to make sure he was real.
Here I’d thought that seeing him in the ER in a button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, listening to a patient with his stethoscope, was sexy. If being a doctor didn’t work out, he could always audition for the cover of books likeBillionaire Boss Hottieand do just fine.
I just broke down. Right there. People around me quickly flowed around the roadblock of Rosie and me and exited the elevator. Adam jumped quickly into action, tugging on the stroller and then grabbing my arm with his other hand and getting us all out of there before the doors closed. All the while, he was saying hi to Rosie, telling her how pretty she looked. By this time she was a total chaos agent, grabbing her foot and trying to stick her bare toes into her mouth. Still, she lit up on seeing him, smiling, eyes dancing.
I loved seeing him in action. But mostly, I loved seeing him here. Waiting for us. And you know what? It felt like everything I’d ever wanted. I didn’t care about a proposal. I cared about someone being there for me—for us—at every turn.
“Why are you here?” I managed, just in case he was here for that cover model shoot or something.
He took a second, scanning my face with intense eyes. Gripping my arms. Turning his full lips up into a slight smile. “I love you,” he said. “Both of you.”
I let out a sob. I was a camel’s hair close to crying anyway, but that did it.
“Life is nothing without you.” He reached up and stroked my cheek, resting his palm there. “You’re my home. I belong with you—with both of you—if you’ll have me.”
“I love you too. I’m so glad you’re here.” I kept sobbing. “But I’m terrified.”
I could barely see where I was going as he quickly steered us into a large, paneled room with a neutral-colored couch and upholstered chairs labeled Family Visitation Room. I could barely see where I was going.
As we entered the room, he closed the door, took me in his arms, and held me. “We’re not going to lose her.” I pulled back and looked up into his gentle brown eyes. He appeared calm. Confident. I derived strength from that.
He was here. That was all I needed.
“I’m sorry I was an ass,” he said. “Forgive me.”
I didn’t tell him,Oh, that’s okay. Don’t worry about it,as I might have done in the past. This time, I tried for more honestly.I simply listened. And nodded. And he kept going.
“I realized that I’ve loved you from that moment on the plane when you barfed into my Santa bag. There was no turning back from it. But I was so terrified to jump in. So afraid of—well, of life. I thought I could protect myself from loving you. But thetruth is, I fell a long time ago, and I’ve been a goner ever since. So it looks like you can’t get rid of me so easily.”
I was sniffling, my nose was running, and of course I didn’t have a Kleenex. So I snagged a baby wipe from Rosie’s bag and blew. The fake powdery fresh scent of baby wipe was overwhelming this close to my nose, and at any other time, I might have laughed.
“Adam.” I touched his nice jacket. Looked up into his nice eyes. Kept crying. “Somehow in my heart, I always knew you loved me. But right now, I’m so afraid.”
“Don’t be. I brought reinforcements.” He made a hand gesture like a traffic cop motioning cars through a blockade. “I thought it would be great to not only bring the letters, but also to bring all the people who wrote them.”
I looked up in shock. In the doorway, people had gathered. My people—our people. Daria, my mom and dad, Mia and Sam, Brax, Caleb, Helen, Penelope, and Dylan. And guess what? Dyan and Pen were holding hands. Imagine that.
Angie, Cathy, Tom, Ivy, and BethAnn came from the ER. Even Adam’s sister Anita was there.Everyone.They all came flooding in, surrounding us, surrounding Rosie. And they all waved and cooed and made faces at our baby.
Our baby. Thinking that choked me up and made me realize that I would fight with all my might to keep her. Whatever it took.
Angie gave me a big squeeze and said, as if she’d read my mind, “We’re all here for you.”
I hugged her back, managing only a nod.
Cathy walked up with a special pair of bright green booties with daisies on them. “You’re never too young for power shoes,” she said, putting them right on Rosie’s now-bare feet. Then she grasped both my hands. “Knock ‘em dead in there.”
Dylan and Pen walked up together, arms linked, smiling. I blinked. Did I hallucinate that? I didn’t have time to wonder, because Pen immediately hugged me. Dylan said, “Breathe and be present.” This was accompanied by some arm movements like laying on of hands. “Be like water,” he said in a serious tone.
“Like water?” I frowned, uncomprehending.
“Fluid, adaptable, and calm, regardless of the container you’re in.” Then he smiled and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
Adam was watching from across the room with a slightly testy expression. I shrugged and smiled, and then he smiled back. He had nothing to fear from Dylan.
