I was headed off the elevator and halfway down the glass-bridged corridor that connected the hospital to the parking deck when I heard footsteps behind me. I startled a little and turned to find Adam running toward me. “I thought you were going to walk out with Dale,” he said, a little out of breath.
“Because there’s so much crime in Oak Bluff.” I rolled my eyes and hit the big square button that opened the sliding glass doors to the parking deck.
Then I had a terrible thought—maybe he didn’t follow me to be chivalrous. “Oh, my God, Adam. Did something happen to the baby?”
“No, no, nothing like that. My mother—my mom has an idea. You need to come back with me and talk with her.”
“An idea? About the baby?” My emotions over the past hour had ping-ponged all over the place, from desperate to hopeful to completely hopeless. What he’d just said spiked them all the way back up again into the promising range. I seized his arm. Despitethe chaos, I felt how hard it was, how corded the muscle. He was such a complicated man, but so good-hearted, even though he tended to hide it. Which complicated everything even more.
“What is it?” I asked. “What’s the idea?”
He gripped my forearms. Again, I had the sense of cautiously restrained power.
Strong but gentle. Such a contrast from the Don’t-eat-pizza-behind-the-desk Adam who ran the ER.
Who was this man who’d come running after me at midnight? Who didn’t seem to think I was crazy to want that baby.
Well, at least not too crazy.
“I’ll let her tell you everything. It’s the nuclear option. She would foster the baby—if Children’s Services agrees—until you could take over.”
“Wait—your mother wouldtake the baby?” I stared at him. She, a woman whom I barely knew, would take the baby until I potentially could?
“You’d have to negotiate the arrangements with her. I know you’ll keep in mind that her retirement begins on Monday.”
“Of course. But wh-why would she do that? She doesn’t even know me.” I was tearing up—again. “You did this. You convinced her.” There was no other explanation.
“No, I didn’t.” He held up his hands. Really. It wasn’t me.” He turned a little red, which told me everything. “Listen, this may or may not work. But it’s your best shot.”
He’d intervened for me, and he wasn’t even taking credit. I started to flat-out cry. Right there on the bridge, I jumped straight into his arms and squeezed him tight.
I felt his hands slide around my waist. I felt him pull me in. I felt his muscle, and all of me remembered all of him. And it was all too much.
I pulled back and searched his face. He looked serious. And a little worried. It occurred to me that he’d been caught up in all of this. That I’d been thinking a lot about myself and what I wanted and not about anyone else. “Why did you do this?” I asked in a hoarse whisper. “We barely know each other.”
“That doesn’t matter. What matters is that you want to give this baby a life. So go for it.”
“Adam, I can’t thank you enough. I’ll hire someone to help your mom watch the baby while I’m at work. I’ll do the nights. I swear I’ll do everything I can to make this easy on her.”
“She’s a lot like you, but I worry about her. Taking care of a baby is a lot—for both of you.”
I took up his hand. “I understand.” I paused. “All of this has been a lot. I just wanted to say that I don’t expect?—”
He cut me off. “I haven’t done anything I didn’t want to do.”
“Please let me finish. I need you to know that I don’t expect you to get involved with any of this. I’m not looking for love or a relationship or a sudden baby daddy or anything like that. But I-I’m so grateful for what you’ve done.”
He smiled. “That’s what friends do.”
I realized right then, with a little bit of melancholy, that friendship was all he could give. All he was capable of giving. In this wild situation, that was a lot, I told myself. He’d given me the kindest, most generous gift of all—his belief in me. And that is what I would accept. And try not to want more.
Chapter Ten
Ani
“I have a ten-month-old with a 104 fever and a runny nose,” Penelope announced, approaching me as I left an exam room on Monday. “His fever is really high, and he’s been sleeping a lot and not eating. I just can’t tell if he’s got an ear infection or not. Every time I try to look in there, he screams and his eardrums turn flaming red. Will you take a look?”
Helen, my other partner, who was sixty, glanced up from the central desk that was in the center of our office where she was charting. She shot me an ominous look. A Penelope-is-not-cutting-it look.
