“Birdie. Don’t go.”
But I don’t listen. I hear the bell chime above the door when I push through, and I swear I hear it say goodbye.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“Sometimes heartbreak can be caused by many different things. I think it’s up to you to decide if you’re going to let it run you over like a truck or use the opportunity to better yourself and move forward.” – Molly
DEREK
Celine Dion really knows heartbreak. Her voice croons over the loudspeakers, both calling out for attention as I rot on the couch in the middle of the loft.
I called Birdie. Twice. I left desperately sorry voicemails. I sent three text messages that were all delivered and unanswered.
So now, I’m lying on the couch, my eyes watering as I stare up at the ceiling and listen to my girl sing me sad songs that make my heart ache and wishing I hadn’t royally fucked up.
After taking some time to think over what Birdie was showing me, I realize now she wasn’t trying to do anything that was unreasonable. The way I lost my cool is embarrassing. I’ve never done that before, ever. The last time I lost it on someone was when I found out that my dad was sick and didn’t tell me.
Birdie doesn’t deserve my words or my actions. She deserves to be heard and respected for the plans she’s made for my store.Ourstore, if I’m being honest.
I just can’t fucking afford any of it. I am so broke that I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Looking back, I don’t know how I’ve managed to stay in business as long as I have. Owning a hardware store is tough, competing with big corporations that can match the bottom dollar sucked. Competing with online shopping doesn’t help either.
I reach up, wiping a tear away. I don’t know how to fix what I broke. I know that Birdie deserves way better than me at this point. She doesn’t need a man child to take care of, she needs a man.
“What in the hell is going on in here?” I hear footsteps shuffling into the house, the sounds of crinkling bags and low voices, followed by the front door shutting, alerting me that the group is home.
“Derek?” I peek open my eyes and see a worried Jane and Warren hovering over the back of the couch. Jane rubs my arm affectionately. “You okay, honey?”
Celine’s voice cuts off abruptly, and I nod. “Fine.”
“Derek, what the hell happened?” Garrett asks, looking mildly concerned, which is actually “very concerned” for him.
“Nothing,” I croak out, pushing myself up to sit on the couch and eyeing my friends. Who are… all here.
“What happened to Derek?” April asks, pushing her way around the couch and sitting on the edge, immediately pulling me into a hug. I let her, leaning on my longtime friend for comfort.
“We don’t know, but he’s got Celine blasting, which is not a great sign.” I recognize Enzo’s voice and nod, agreeing with him. “Yeah, I did the same thing.”
I hear Nora ask, “You listened to Celine when we broke up?”
“First of all, we never broke up,” he argues. I hear shuffling, but I keep my eyes closed and lean on April harder. “But yeah, Celine knows what’s up.”
“Aw,” I hear her say and hear the sounds of lips touching.
“Excuse me, I’m having a real crisis over here.”
I hear more bags rustling and the sounds of everyone settling in around the coffee table.
“Bro, what happened?” Archer asks, and I finally open my eyes and release April, who scoots next to me. I throw my legs over the edge, my feet landing heavily on the floor, and hunch back into the couch, feeling miserable.
“Elizabeth and I,” I start, and see worried faces all the way around the circle, “are taking some time apart.”
“Damn.”
Mutual groans of dismay chorus around the room, and shockingly, it doesn’t make me feel any better than before.
“Here, have some kung pow chicken,” April says, and I accept the carton and chopsticks, even though I don’t feel hungry whatsoever.
I glance up and find Viv crying softly, shoveling food into her mouth. Archer is watching her with concern and rubs her back.
