They start a game ofMonopoly,and everyone couples up so we can all play. Birdie leans into me and presses her lips to my cheek.
“Are you okay? You’re quiet tonight.”
I nod, pressing my head into her shoulder and breathing her in. “Yeah. Just tired.”
I catch Archer’s eye across the room, and he lifts a brow as if to ask if I’m good, and I nod, not wanting to get into it tonight.
Birdie watches me for a moment, and I can tell that she knows something isn’t right. I just don’t know how to hide it much longer. I don’t want to weigh her down with my burdens, I want to be the guy that lifts hers off of her shoulders.
But right now, I don’t know how to do that. I can babysit Rora, make dinner, do laundry, and run errands until my feet bleed, but I can’t take on financial responsibility for any of it.
That makes me feel like a fucking failure, and I know I’m in my head about it.
I don’t want to take it out on her, though. Never. I don’t want her to ever think that anything that is going on is reflective of anything she and I have. We’re perfect together, she was and is and will always be the love of my life.
I just don’t know if I’m hers.
I don’t know if I’m good enough to be that for her, and that kills part of me.
She leans over, pressing her lips to my cheek and holding my head to her. “I love you.”
Those words nearly crack the dam that is holding me together, and I turn to her, breathing her in and winding my hand into her hair, holding her here with me. “I love you more.”
Her lips tip into a smile, and we turn back to the game when the catcalling begins. I shake my head and stand. “Why would you ever want to rush? You’re all about to get your asses beat.”
The group boos at me, and I grab the shoe, it’s my favorite piece. I hold it out to Birdie, and she smiles. “That’s always my piece.”
Just another thing that makes us fit. It’s small and seemingly unimportant to what I’m feeling, but it’s another notch to the puzzle piece for me. Another prize that’s won in our relationship.
I press a kiss to her lips, and we start the game.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
“I think you don’t even realize how in love you are with someone until they hurt you and it feels like your heart is ripped in half, and it feels like nothing can fix it.” - Jane
ELIZABETH
Giddiness chases me as I rush up the street to the hardware store. I’ve come here so many times in the last few months that it nearly feels like a second home when I enter the store. The familiar jingle on the door greets me like an old friend, and I breathe it all in.
Looking around, I notice no one is occupying the space at the moment. Not unusual for this time of day, everyone is rushing home after work, ready to relax. Not much home repair is happening in the cold month of February unless it is absolutely necessary.
I carry my tablet, looking around for the man who makes my heart skip a beat whenever he lays his eyes on me.They always light up when he sees me, giving me a renewed sense of purpose whenever it happens.
“Derek!” I call, wondering where he’s hiding, and stop short when I see him hunched over the register, his face tired and stressed. “Hey, are you okay?”
He stands up straight and nods, giving me a tired smile, and rounds the counter to pull me into his arms. I feel the stress leave both of our bodies whenever he wraps his arms around me, but this time, there’s a tension in him that I still feel.
“I thought I was coming over later,” he says, stepping back and running a finger over my cheek.
“You are. But I have something we need to look at together,” I say, excitement in my words.
“Okay,” he replies, confusion but also slight amusement on his features.
I step over to the counter and set the tablet down, opening up the listing that I found and showing it to him.
For a moment, he stares at it and nods his head, like he wants to show he’s supportive of something, but then he shrugs and cracks a smile. “I don’t know what that is.”
I run through a few pictures, smiling at them. “It’s a warehouse! It’s perfect. The lease for it isn’t too bad. Idefinitely think we could swing it and make it pay for itself within a few months.”
