I closed my eyes, staying that way for a beat longer than normal before saying, “No.”
It was hard as hell, but I forced myself to look at the man I’d been in a relationship with for awhile now. He deserved that much—my undivided attention as I confessed my feelings.
Lennon parroted me. “No?”
“Yeah, no. I don’t think I want to go back to your place tonight.”
“Okay.” He drew out the word, and I could tell that he was confused over what was happening, but that quick, he found a reason for my resistance. “If you’re not feeling that great, I understand. I can drop you off back at your apartment.Tomorrow is another day. It doesn’t matter that it’s my birthday.”
“I don’t think I want to come over tomorrow, either, Lennon.”
He chuckled, but it was tight and uncomfortable. He slipped his hand free from mine and wound it around the steering wheel. It was enough for me to know that he was starting to wonder what was going on but just hadn’t asked yet. “Then the day after that.”
I said his name in a low breath, my heart pinching in anxiety over what I was about to do. I know I said I wasn’t going to do this tonight, but I couldn’t wait another day. I couldn’t push off the inevitable. I couldn’t walk back in there, seeking out Weston, while I was still in a committed relationship with another man—with hisbrother.
God, what waswrongwith me?
That question had been on repeat all night and likely would stick around for days to come.
“I…” I trailed off, not exactly sure how to say it. I inhaled a deep breath, then came out with it. “I’m not happy anymore, Lennon. I think this is the end of the road for us.”
Tension swished around the vehicle, tying itself into a thick, woven rope. I swear I saw Lennon’s cheek twitch, but it also could’ve been the way the dash lights casted shadows over his face. His tongue came out and traced his bottom lip, and it reminded me so much of Weston that my heart lurched in my chest.
“If this is about Celeste… There is nothing going on between me and her. I fucking promise, okay? I don’t know what else to say to help you understand that.”
Unfortunately, we were long past the stage of saying the right words, making promises, or anything else of the sort.
I shook my head. “Honestly, we shouldn’t have let it go on for this long.”
His face twisted into indignation, and he reared back in his seat. “What the hell is that supposed to mean? Have you been wanting to do this for awhile now?”
“You know I’ve struggled with the Celeste stuff, Lennon. It’s not like I haven’t communicated that with you.”
“And it’s not like I haven’t communicated back. I thought this was squashed. I thought you were confident in my words, in my assurances. But all this time, you weren’t.”
A beat of silence passed between us, tightening that rope. “I kept thinking that I’d be able to get over it. That, at a certain point, it wouldn’t bother me anymore. But then I realized that I can’t be that woman. I wouldn’t be true to myself if I was.”
His eyes narrowed, and his hand dropped to his lap. “Whatwoman?”
“The one who idly stands by while her significant other acts entirely too friendly with other women. I can’t do it, Lennon. I deserve more respect than that, and you know it.”
He faced forward, staring out the window again as rain pattered down on it. Enough time had passed that we could easily see through it, even if it was a bit of a blurry mess. His hands came up, and he scrubbed them over his cheeks in exasperation.
“Everything was fine today. Then you get locked in a room with my brother for a few hours, and when I find you, you want to break up. I keep asking myself if that’s strange.” His gaze moved back in my direction. “Is it, Olivia?”
I swallowed hard, not knowing what would happen if I told him the truth. Truth that he deserved to know.
“Did he say something to you? Is that it?”
“What? No.” A myriad of emotions swirled through me, making my body that much more tense. The weird achy throb that settled into my head earlier was mostly gone, thanks to the second round of pain reliever I took—and Weston—but I knew if I pushed too hard that it wouldn’t last long. Not with all the stress I was going through in such a short amount of time.
So I said, “I’m saying all of this because this is how I really feel, Lennon. That, and seeing Celeste all over you tonight cemented those emotions.”
“The most important part of what you said is that you sawCelesteall overme.Not the other way around. You’re making it sound like I was on my knees at her feet, begging for her attention.”
I almost choked on my spit at his response.
On my knees at her feet.
