Again, my brain formulated Weston in my mind. His fingers. His mouth. Histongue.
A rush of heat worked its way down my back, the humid summer air not helping one bit.
“Yeah, but you didn’t exactly push her away.”
“Olivia—”
“No,” I said, lifting a hand. “It doesn’t really matter, Lennon.”
He shifted in the seat, facing me fully. “Like hell it doesn’t. My girlfriend is sitting across from me saying I no longer make her happy because other women are attracted to me. Tell me how that’s fair.”
“Wow,” I breathed out. “I thought about how this conversation would go a few times, but I never envisioned you trying to make me feel guilty for feeling the way I do.”
“Wait a second,” Lennon said, steepling his hands at hischin. He blew out a heavy breath. “That’s not what I meant to say or imply. I don’t want you to feel any kind of way for how you’re feeling. I don’t want…”
Silence blanketed us again, and I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what was going to make this better. Nothing, most likely.
Eventually, Lennon finished his thought. “I don’t want this for us. I care about you, Olivia. So fucking much. And definitely more than Celeste.”
I didn’t doubt that. Not entirely. It wouldn’t have made sense for him not to care and stay with me for as long as he did. But he also didn’t use the word love. Which was another indicator that this wasn’t going to go anywhere. Lennon and I were not going to make it to marriage.
“I care about you, too, Lennon, which is why I’m doing this. It’s okay that things didn’t work out for us. One day, you’ll meet a woman that you can picture a lifetime with. I just…don’t think I’m that person.”
His head fell back to the rest, and he let out a mirthless laugh. “Happy fucking birthday to me, huh?”
Guilt swam in my gut, but I tried to quell it, knowing there was no way around this—it had to happen. He might not have realized that at the moment, but he would soon. He’d look back and understand that I did both of us a favor.
Still, I whispered, “I’m sorry. I didn’t plan on this happening tonight.”
“It’s fine, Olivia. It is what it is.”
“I hope we’ll still be able to maintain some kind of level of professionalism.”
He waved me off. “You don’t have to worry about that. I’m not going to make you feel uncomfortable for doing what you think is best for you. Not now and not while we’re working, either. You have my word.”
I dipped my chin and gave a little nod, though I’m not sure he saw it because he was still looking away. “Thank you. I appreciate that.”
“Well, uh…” That tension flipped into awkwardness ungodly fast. Lennon stumbled over his words, not really knowing what to say next. So, I finished for him, giving him one last out—something I’d gotten too good at with him—before we went our separate ways.
“Do you think you could drive me over to my car?”
It was at the other end of the parking lot, and it was dark and rainy. A big gust of wind blew through, swaying the tree branches. The last thing I wanted was to slip and hurt myself after everything.
“Yeah, sure thing,” Lennon said, pressing the button next to the dash that put the car into drive. It was a newer, fancier model that had all the gadgets and no shifter. I’d definitely miss the heated seats, that was for sure. But even those weren’t worth me staying in something that wasn’t serving me.
He hit the gas, slowly pulling the car closer to the end of the lot. My car, a white sedan, was in the very last space. If there was one good thing about the rain, it was that my car wouldn’t need a wash for a little while.
The car creeped to a stop, and he hovered in drive, swinging his gaze to me one last time. “I’m sorry, Olivia. For everything. I never wanted it to end this way, and I never intentionally set out to treat you any way that you didn’t deserve. I thought I was doing a decent job of that… ”
I reached out and pressed my palm to his forearm before needing to pluck my keys out of my clutch. Both of his hands gripped the steering wheel. “Sometimes things don’t work out so better things can fall into place.”
“Hard to see it that way right now, but I get your point.”
I pulled on the door handle. Before I pushed the door all the way open, I gave him a sad smile. “Take it easy, Lennon. And thank you. For coming to find me and fixing the door so we could get out of that room. If you ever need anything…” I trailed off, letting the rest of my sentence hang in the air.
I wasn’t so sure Lennon would be coming to me for anything after tonight, but I still wanted him to know that I was genuinely in his corner, even if we wouldn’t be trying to share a life together anymore.
“You, too,” he murmured. “Get home safe.”
