“Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you’re fucking disappointed.”
“Then don’t give me something to be disappointed about, Colson.” His jaw tenses—it’s been doing a lot of that tonight—and I take in the way the muscle ripples from my abrasiveness. “We’ve always had each other. Don’t push me away because things are hard right now. We can weather the storm together.”
He scoffs. “Things aren’thard, Violet. They’re royally fucked, and they have been since before you walked into my life and forced your way into my fucking head.”
“Forced?” A hurt-filled laugh leaves me. “Wow. Here I thought this was a mutual thing. That you wanted this as much as I did.”
He cocks his head to the side and dips his fists into his pockets. “I warned you,” he says, walking over to stand in front of me. He grips my chin. “I told you that the shit in my life would ingrain itself in you. That it’d follow you wherever you went. Surprise, Violet, it’s now a part of your shadow.”
“What does that have to do with this moment?”
“What does it have to do with now?” He shakes his head, looks away, then drops his hand from my face. “Every-fucking-thing. Your eyes don’t lie to me, Vi. I see how much hurt is in them. How badly you wish you could wipe away what I’m goingthrough. That you wish you could turn back time and give me a different life. A different mom.”
“Yeah, because I care about you,” I choke out, somehow holding back the sob that wants to rip free.
“Those feelings will follow you everywhere. They’ll never be easy to shake. I did that to you. Gave you hope when I shouldn’t have. Let my walls down when I should've secured them like a goddamn naval base.”
“I don’t care if they follow me. Let them.”
“I fucking care. That’s why I’m leaving.”
He says it so effortlessly, but I hear the depth in what's to come.
He’s leaving.
My heart nearly cracks in half. This insurmountable pain fills me and as much as I want to let the emotional sting take over the corner of my eyes, I don’t let my tears fall. There’s still time for us to talk about this and work through it.
“Don’t do this,” I plead, reaching out for him and missing when he steps back. “You told me you weren’t going to let life take things from you anymore. That you were going to take what you wanted. What happened to that person?”
“He’s gone.”
“Please stay. We’ll sleep then talk in the morning after we’ve had a good night of rest.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. What’s done is done. I’ll cherish what we had, but it’s time for me to move on.”
“You know that’s not how this is supposed to go.”
“My mom wasn’t supposed to overdose while she was a fucking inmate, but that still happened.”
“Colson.”
He gives me one last glance before rounding the foot of the bed. I stand and watch him go. Each step wreaks havoc on myheart. When he twists the handle and opens my bedroom door without hesitating or looking back at me, it fully shatters.
Because I knew this would happen.
I knew life would catch up to us.
I just didn’t think it’d happen this fast.
SIX
VIOLET
My heartbeat isa mere pitter-patter in my chest as my back lies parallel to the floor. My earbuds are fastened in my ears, the volume so high I had to bypass the warning on my phone to listen. Music swirls in my ears, an array of tempos vibrating through me.
