The corners of my eyes burn and pinch in the same way my heart does. Tears roll down my cheeks, staining Olive’s sleepshirt, and for the life of me, I can’t get the wrenching heartbreak to stop pouring out of my eyes or my lungs.
“Shhh,” Olive coos. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll catch all the tears you wanna give me.”
Her undying love only makes me cry harder. I don’t know when I wrap my arms around her, but they cinch at her waist, one hand limply holding my opposite wrist so I can hang onto her. I’m afraid that if I let go, I’ll drift away. That the current will pull me down like a riptide and no one will be able to save me.
Not her.
Not Sebastian or Finn.
Not my parents.
Especially not Colson.
I’m a measly piece of seaweed at the hands of the tide.
Olive’s hand gently rubs my back. “It sucks, I know.”
I know she knows. Not too long ago, she endured the horrors of something similar. Of something that sent her spiraling and forgetting who she was until she found herself again. If there’s anyone who understands and can get me through, it’s her.
Not for the first time, I’m happy she’s here.
“It just…” My voice is a shredded mess and cracks with every word. “Really fucking sucks.”
“He’s an asshole if he can’t see what he’s throwing away.”
Yes, but also no.
Colson is so far away from the asshole spectrum it isn’t even funny. The only reason we’re in this predicament is because he cares too much. His grief for his mother is a sure sign of that. Him not wanting me in his life because he’s trying to protect me is another.
“I just don’t understand,” is what I mumble out in reply.
I don’t get how things have flipped so far upside down that no one can seem to get back on their feet.
“He was supposed to be the good one,” Olive says. “He wasn’t supposed to be the one who broke your heart.”
“I know.”
“You didn’t even cry this much over Webber, and you were with him for a lot longer.”
“I know,” I say again.
“You’re going to get through this,” she promises. “Even if I have to leave school and sleep on your floor.”
“Real funny, but you’re not going to do that,” I hiccup, squeezing her tighter. “This has been building for weeks, and now I’m just done. Like, I can’t get my bearings. Can hardly hold myself up.”
“We’ll get you crutches and an oxygen tank.”
I can’t help but laugh through my tears at Olive’s off the wall response. It’s so unexpected and comforting at the same time that I let out a guffaw of tear-streaked giggle-sobs until I’m pulling away and need to wipe my face.
Her face is crestfallen when I look at her.
“I’m willing to bet you disappearing that night we were all at Lucy’s has everything to do with Colson, too. Am I right?”
I nod. “His half brother came to tell me he got into this underground world of fighting. He has no plans of stopping. Says it’s helping him deal and is insistent on not letting anyone else in, but then when we see each other it’s like there’s this invisible force that wrenches us together.”
“Holy fuck.”
“Last night was the first time I asked him to stop for me. Long story short, he’s not going to.”
