The thought of Caitlin with a boyfriend, a lover, set my blood boiling. Someone else being my kid’s daddy? Being there in the night to comfort my child? Imagining Caitlin sharing her life and her bed with someone else was like a knife through the heart. I needed to get out of here before I blew.
“Caitlin’s a great woman, pretty and smart. She won’t be alone for long. You willing to let that happen?” Jake asked, tipping my temper over the edge.
“Shut the fuck up!” I tried to shove my way past Jake, but he gripped my shoulders tightly, holding me in place. “You don’t understand what it’s like,” I yelled. “You’ve never been in love. It’s pure hell.”
“I don’t doubt it.” Jake’s voice was calm despite having me scream in his face. “Anything that makes you, of all people, lose control must be something powerful. I’m supposed to be the hothead, remember?”
After a minute, Jake loosened his hold. I slumped back against a stall door and tried to rein in my emotions. I hadn’t acted out like that since I was a kid.
“You better?” Jake remained nearby but out of my personal space.
“No.” I scrubbed a hand over my face and struggled with the rage that was still simmering in me—though thankfully at a low boil now. “Sorry, bro. How the hell did I get myself in this spot?”
“Don’t know, but stay there. I’ll be back.” Jake disappeared into the tack room and returned with a bottle of whiskey. “You might want some of this.”
“Thanks.” I tipped it back and took a swig. I passed the bottle to Jake who drank as well. “For emergencies?”
“Yeah, and sometimes a man just wants a drink by himself. You ready to really talk now?”
“Guess so,” I said. The anger and whiskey still burned through my veins, but I was calmer.
“All right, then. Listen to some reason. Caitlin can’t stay here with the way her family is, so she’s as stuck as you are.” Jake glanced around the barn. “I know a little about being stuck, about a place taking its toll on you, so I get where she’s coming from.”
I took a hard look at my brother. What was Jake saying? That he didn’t want to be running the ranch? That he felt trapped? “Jake?—”
Jake waved me off. “We’re talking about you and Caitlin.”
I accepted that for the moment, but decided that on another day I needed to have an honest conversation with him about the role he’d ended up with and how he truly felt about it.
“Give me the bottle, would you?” I took another swig after Jake handed it to me. “Why Caitlin? Why’d I have to fall for her? There are lots of nice women in town. If I wanted a relationship, it wouldn’t be hard to find a willing woman who planned to live here forever. Hell, they’re always leaving me cookies and stopping me on the street. Why not one of them?”
Jake shook his head. “They want you because they want to bag a Thorne brother. And since you’re thegoodtwin, they’d choose you over me any day of the week.” Jake gave a rueful laugh.
“But that’s not Caitlin,” I said. “She doesn’t give a shit about status or my last name or if I’m sheriff.”
“Yep. You don’t find that kind of love every day. Trust me on that one.” Jake’s expression darkened, making me wonder what was going on with him. I had been so caught up with Caitlin over the past few weeks that I hadn’t seen as much of Jake as usual. I’d fix that soon enough. As soon as I resolved the situation with Caitlin.
I thought about everything Jake said, and what Amy had said at the office. But the loudest voice in my head was Caitlin’s, asking me to move to Austin with her so we could be together. Why hadn’t I heard her like I should have? She’d offered everything I’d wanted, and I hadn’t seen it because of my worry about this job. What the hell was wrong with me? I’d let her leave. Hell, I’d packed her car for her and watched her drive out of my life when she was everything I’d wanted for so long—andwas carrying the child I already loved so much, it made me dizzy.
“I’m a dumbass,” I said.
“Took you this long to figure that out?” Jake picked up the whiskey bottle and took a drink.
“I’ve got to go after Caitlin.” Nothing had ever been so obvious to me. Why couldn’t I have seen that days ago? “I love her, and I can’t letanythingget in the way of that.”
Jake slapped me on the back. “Then get the hell out of here and go figure out how to win your woman back.”
THIRTY-FOUR
CAITLIN
“I’ve got something I want to share with you.” Mel sat down across the table from me.
“Sure, we’ve got about fifteen minutes before dinner’s ready.” I felt as though I needed to return my friend’s kindness for letting me stay at the apartment by cooking dinner. I’d made chicken Florentine, homemade bread sticks, and a Caesar salad.
“Perfect. Let’s use this time to talk.” Mel pulled her laptop from her bag and opened it. “I found what I think is the ideal location for our tattoo parlor.”
“You did?” I was surprised. We’d gone to look at three storefronts in the past few days, but none had called out to us, so we’d agreed to wait until one grabbed our attention.
